boo-boo: two oh's more of the word....

When you've been working for a company for quite some time now but have not really reached the regularization threshold, you find yourself caught in a dilemma when you make a mistake.

You're the rope in a tug-of-war of realities. You're not sure if the mistake was due to sheer incompetence or just plain ignorance.

See, something wrong happened today. And it's a Sunday, so nothing much can be done. I sent an email from my personal account to a shipper today, secretly hoping they'll be able to read through the email tomorrow so I won't have to think about it until after the weekend ends. But alas, the message reached them within the day, and I actually get a response this evening. I was cringing when outlook was loading the email. And so it reads: "I'm confused, I thought it was YOUR JOB to..." I knew it had to be someone's fault, but I'm not sure who should take the blame.

I reread the email. There was a long pause in the outside world to accommodate the sudden influx of thoughts within me. "Was I really supposed to...? Was that really part of my job?" Again, the question echoes in my head --- is it an ignorance that can be forgiven or a negligence that had to be condemned? Several months into the industry and I am still ignorant. Or several months into the industry, and the training is still unfinished.

Yes, it is a self-inflicted burden to aim for perfection because no human is perfect after all. But in the real world, imperfection and mistakes actually cost money. So you'll just have to deal, stop pointing fingers, do a little emotional regrouping and find a way to minimize the negative impact.

We live and we learn. Sigh. Learning is never easy.

CAVEMAN ang gumawa ng t-shirt ko

Ang CAVEMAN ay pwedeng gumawa ng mga t-shirt para sayo, sa lahat ng mga inaanak mo, sa lahat ng miyembro ng inyong organisasyon, at kahit sa buong barangay ninyo! Sabihin mo lang kung ano ang itsura at kung gaano karami.

Kung may mga katanungan tungkol sa t-shirt, sa CAVEMAN, o sa buhay, gawin ang mga sumusunod:

> pumunta sa http://ishg.bravehost.com/caveman
> mag-email sa caveman_ink@yahoogroups.com
> mag-reply sa post na 'to

(Ang CAVEMAN ay nakagawa na ng mga t-shirt para sa mga NGO, student org, atbp.)

don't be a smart ass!

source: http://xkcd.com/c169.html

the bad guy

I had a couple of drinks with my officemates a few hours back, but left the bar earlier than most. Don't get me wrong, I stopped before my limit and made it home in one piece (thank you, high alcohol tolerance). But I felt weird.

It's not so much that I couldn't handle the situation. I just felt like I've outgrown such nights already. Most of my officemates are actually a lot older than me, but the pensive drive home stirred me. No, being younger than them doesn't give me the license to drink. These nights are in fact reminiscent of night outs in the past that are fun at that moment, but probably something I can no longer be proud of. I used to brag about my Quezon-bred drinking skills, but it just doesn't feel right anymore.

The night brought back those memories of someone drunk and in denial driving me home, and that scared me. Other images rushed in my head... of scantily dressed women I personally know grinding in front of me, of empty bottles of beer on the table, of squinting at the sight of rising cigarette smoke. It reminded me of those nights I was actually a tad reckless, contrary to popular notion.

Yes, good girl Vanessa became a bad guy at some point also.

But there comes a point in your life when you just look at those memories, smile with wisdom, and walk away.

TMX

Stands for Tickle Me Xtreme. The new Tickle Me Elmo toy from Fisher-Price celebrates its 10th year with a new Elmo who is, simply put, extreme. Too loud actually that he comes out incredibly annoying. [Let's see if you can stand the video.]

I meant to write so much more about the interesting conversations that resulted from this scandalous little toy --- that is, delve into the many ways adulthood distorts a child's eyes. But yes, judging from the many violent reactions against this toy, let me veer away from the Hydrocephalus Poo, Rabid Pluto, Obscene Donald Duck, etc etc. [Had fun, you two. And I love you, one of you.]

a long list of everything...

It's October 08. The last entry I had was last July 16. So here's a long list of things I will ramble about:

A. THE SHIP HAS SAILED.
I've been working with Maersk Logistics Filipinas as an Import-Export Client Coordinator since August. It's a fancy name, yes, but basically, the work I do entails ensuring that sea mode exports from the Philippines are properly booked, shipped and documented to our nominated accounts in the US, Europe and everywhere else. I'm handling three accounts on my own (Marks and Spencer, Cost Plus and BCBG), while handling half of the work for Target Stores (which in fact eats up the bulk of my time), and soon Walmart and The Pier. [I am so excited for December! We'll get gifts from our shippers!]

Anyway, the first month was pretty slow because they couldn't give me anything to work on just yet. But ever since the turnover of accounts last month, it's been mayhem every week, every day, with only an hour's lunchbreak to keep me sane. Surprisingly, it's not about the difficulty of the work... it's about the amount of work that had to be juggled and done. The team's always working within a strict deadline, and even though I remember being asked sincerely during the job interview why I'm too serious and if I am capable of a little procrastination, turns out this kind of job cannot afford procrastination and mindlessness at all. Or so I think. Wait, maybe it's just me. I noticed that my teammates can detach better from work... well, most of them at least. Lately, I've been going to the office at 8am and closing down the department workstation at 8:30pm or 9pm. Fridays and Mondays are my heaviest days. So when you text me on either of the two days, don't expect an immediate reply.

So, the work started out pretty peachy. After all, I've always wanted this company, this job in particular. You can ask anyone, I'm so crazy (bordering horny) about my work and it shows every time I giggle at the sight of passing container trucks. (Can we say psycho?) But in the middle of the piles of papers I have to deal with everyday, there is a tired spirit, asking if this is the kind of job I can imagine for myself in the long term. As far as I'm concerned, this is merely a stepping stone for me. Hopefully in a year or two, I'll find myself in an Australian University, and shortly afterwards, I'll come home and pursue the business of my dreams. I think my plans are more clear cut than most (but not as spectacular as expected); they're just not expressed that's why I still come across as a lost girl to a lot of people (probably foremost to my family). But hey, the world's my Rockefeller oyster now. And this aphrodisiac's getting me all worked up.

B. OF OLD FRIENDS AND NEW ONES
Being exposed to the office culture affords one a new set of friends, and to people-loving persons such as myself, this is always a thrilling experience. But somehow, I found myself gravitating towards the old friends --- from my high school barkada to such wonderful college friends. The friendship is no longer about physical presence, but more importantly, care and support. Of course, it's always such a comfort to meet up with your old friends and to wind down after a long week of work, to engage in a smorgasbord of topics to talk about --- from college tsismis to finding one's True North in life. But there's an ethereal sense of warmth and "coming home" that you feel around the people you toiled through hell and heaven with during the Wonder Years. I suppose at some point, you settle for having mere acquaintances and not exerting a lot of effort to build profound, lasting relationships. At a certain phase in your life, you choose a few people you can call your bosom friends and nurture them more (quality over quantity). And then, in the process, you discover new things about your old friends --- and nothing's the same anymore.

C. MY IPOD's COMPLAINING. (AND I SHOULD READ MORE)
I haven't been updating the songs on my IPod, and it's been ages since I made a new playlist. Lately, I've been putting the songs on shuffle. I allow myself to a surprise in discovering fantastic songs I already have but never really took the time to listen to. And I deleted all those audiobooks by the way, because I really shouldn't be too lazy to pick up my favorite books and catch up on my reading. Sadly, after 22 years of existence, I'm only coming around to reading The Prince (Machiavelli) and 1984 (Orwell) now. It's a return to the classics to me, after loading up on contemporary fiction (latest one being Farewell Waltz by Kundera).

Back to the IPod, I realized I can only use it for at least five years because the battery has a certain usage limit. So I'll lose all my songs? Nooo! The agony! Such lamentation! Anyway, cut the drama, anyone out there who has more fantastic artists they can introduce to me? I'm up for anything. But these days I've been a Snow Patrol fanatic. Chasing Cars is one of the best underrated songs on airplay by the way, but dude, listen to their entire albums. Really worth your while.

Oh and I hate Paris Hilton. Because she ACTUALLY makes such catchy tunes. Dammit. In fact, if you plaster an unknown personality over the voice, change the video concepts and maintain the music, her songs will be such chart-topping hits. Nakakainis. I can't get "Nothing In This World" out of my head for days now. Kill me now!

And last but definitely not the least.....

D. A WORLD OF RECOGNITION
The world is filled with fear and treachery and apathy, but you can only live and love if you learn to trust (the world and yourself) again. But if you're lucky, you may encounter a person you can connect with in so many levels and save you from your self-inflicted rotting-dom. What do you do if you do find someone who can sum up your existence in a simple gaze, probe into your inner feelings to speak of it and promise, not a perfect life, but a life worth living for? The reality is, we're all tempted to consider time as the final judge of one's readiness to move on from a tainted path and cross over to the greener pastures and bluer skies. But since when have we succumbed to slavery and allow time to carve out our lives? No. We make our lives through our decisions, and not through time. Sure, there is value in patience --- but not if it's driven by fear. It doesn't have to be so melodramatic all the time. People can choose to transcend once more and settle for nothing less than true love. Marcel will bang your head to the wall if you don't understand the importance of hope in a wailing world... such a puzzling concept of holding on to nothing else but a belief that there will be better days, to hope.

I can say I grew more in a span of three months than I ever did in a length of three years. I just needed to be willing to be stripped naked and be clothed in wisdom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the wisest person in the world... But I know I learned so much the past few months.

And I give due credit to you. For releasing me from an unhealthy imprisonment and offering truth, acceptance, honesty and communication, without losing your uniqueness in the process. Thank you, my wonderful imperator. *cue Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch*

the dog outlet

I need an outlet. Since a Someone is not advisable at the moment, I'm thinking of a Something I can pour my attention to (read: loving affection).

Therefore, I decided to adopt my sister's neglected Jack Russell Terrier named Russia. I've never had a dog before, so I am pretty new on this subject. (The closest I had for a pet were two turtles. Come on, talk about being affectionate.) Plus, this pretty dog's a tough one to train because she has a dominating personality and she is so NOT a puppy.

But I know this dog's intelligent and I'm hoping she'll be a lot different than any of the dogs that came before. I hope this works. Hehe.

no more emo

i'm tired of being emo and unnecessarily melodramatic about everything.

it ends now. hehe.

If you know how to count and you're up for a little twisted puzzle challenge, check out http://n.nfshost.com/ . Let's see how far you can go. :D

the untouchable

There is this common notion that being unattached translates to being free. That is, if you play your cards right, you can go swimming in the vast oceans in search of your Big Fish. You are as free as a bird to behold the rising and setting of possibilities just behind that majestic mountain. You have the power to scan through the jukebox of your future, hoping you will be able to select the perfect song for that perfect moment.

But when you're broken and you've made mistakes in the past, the reality is the contrary. You were drawn towards the flames before and have suffered burns --- so the fire has become a fearful foe, rather than a source of rejuvenating light. And even the universe insists on this prescribed sense of order. Be wary. You are not ready. You are not entitled to hurt another again.

Hence, I have become untouchable.

Lost

I LOVE LOST.

At the turn of the tide, I feel this part of me die
I've been on your shore before
And it was no waste of time
Over my head and in my mind
Am I washed on your shore and barely alive?
--- On Your Shore, Charlotte Martin

Graphic courtesy of http://heroinechic.net/

the gun therapy

This is the perfect anger therapy, and quite the sweat fest (work it out without moving a lot).

9AM. Nothing could stop us. Not even a swerving ticket.

One action shot and a look-Mommy-we-got-guns shot.
Never doubt the girl with a gun. Sweet 'ol Apple happens to be deadly. Beware. :D

i am you.

NOTE: Since Rina and Apple were the faster bloggers and in spite of drafting a post about it already, just read about our little kitchen shindig from "up early on a saturday" post in Rina's Blog or "Thank God It's Gourmet Friday!" on Apple's Blog, then I won't have to repeat all the details. [There's a fine line between efficient writing and just being a lazy blogger. Hehe.]

Today, I will talk about similarities and differences. Last night, I had quite a colorful conversation with a friend, who pointed out that, in retrospect, people indeed choose only what they want to see. People are forced into specific stereotypes. For example, we have Boy A (Mr. Popular Basketball Jock) and Girl B (Ms. Straight A's Transferee). We'd probably think that Boy A and Girl B are too different and can't even have a 15-minute conversation. Then how is it that they can end up having ridiculously excellent vocals and end up in a HS play? (Anj is probably laughing at me right now). Seriously now, we choose what we see in a person. And it is only in opening up, and allowing others to do the same, can we truly reveal how similar we all are. That is how people make relationships work.

There is something about the light, and our eyes, and our emotions that open up our senses only to specific subjects and limited human characteristics. Our defenses against accepting another is in fact quite hard to control; we are always trying to preserve our ideal selves (read: ego). So people end up becoming different; and thus, conflict becomes inevitable.

I've heard people (including myself) speak of differences so many times as divisive and destructive. There is some truth to that, of course. After all, people do react differently to real-life situations, and the solution in a compromise is not really getting what we want. (Let's face it, you wouldn't call it a compromise if you got what you wanted.) It gets tiring to have to deal with people who don't do or perceive things the way you do. Frustration hovers over that perennial culprit popularly known as expectations. We expect excessively that people can see the world our way always in all ways, as if we are the lords of the universe.

I remember this one time, he says, "You two are actually very similar." And defensively, I responded, "Don't you dare say that we are similar, because we are not. She can never understand where I'm coming from." I was wrong. I think she understood.

There is something greater here, a sense of relational unifying force, that we may want to pay more attention to when we deal with relationships. It is our ability to sympathize with the other. Understanding and sympathy as the bases for being similar is very fulfilling --- because all roads lead to being ONE with the other. Being similar starts with understanding where their concerns and desires are coming from. And shutting out possibilities to be similar wouldn't be human at all, even though we all know that it takes a lot of work.

So when was the last time you talked to a friend to just connect? We can always find something that will bind us together, whether it be a wide range of interests or just that one pinnacle of a characteristic. It could be as simple as the music that we crave or as profound as our brokenness amidst the majesty of life. All we need is that one chance to listen, be heard and usher in acceptance.

I guess I needed to say these things and to proclaim this to the whole world, so that I may accept certain people (and realities that such people bring) even though I disfigured them as enemies or as antagonists in the past. Some people have told me, "You're not giving justice to yourself by letting things be and not fighting for the battles against people who have hurt you." I say, I'm done fighting and now, I'd like to communicate instead. This time, I'll acknowledge that people own their minds that no battle can ever sway --- and that is being similar humanely without losing what makes me different. That is what I'd like to call forgiveness; and the first person I will reward this to is myself.

www.onevoice.org.ph

I wanted to make a separate entry for this, seeing how powerful it is to spread ideas even to the few people who visit my blog. And amidst the threat of a pseudo-dictatorship or destructive anarchy or both, I can recall truly powerful lines from one of my favorite movies (and graphic novels) of all time, V for Vendetta:

"You cannot kill me. There is no flesh and blood within this cloak to kill.
There is only an idea. And ideas are bulletproof."

Yes, over and above bloodshed, we have shared ideas. It is in the immense power of our principles and the bushfire spread of such ideas where we may find the salvific democracy we long for --- an understanding, a personal vindication against social hopelessness, a committed participation, and a unifying cause, all for the promise of such a glorious democracy. How so many people speak of the American Dream, when we can dream so much more for our beloved country. Can we not speak of it? Of the Philippine Dream? And soon the cancer of our society will transform into an overwhelming concerned civilian force, looking for small but coordinated solutions to the deeply embedded problems of corruption, apathy and lack of hope.

Enter One Voice. A caucus of civilians and concerned groups that still dream lovingly for their country. Briefly, they propose a 5-step process towards social renewal:

1. Discontinuance of the present "people's initiative";
2. A social reform program now;
3. Elections in 2007 as scheduled, as an indirect referendum, and electoral reform now;
4. If necessary, a constitutional convention (not a "con-ass") after the 2007 elections, and;
5. A collective effort to rebuild the trustworthiness of our democratic institutions.

If you'd like to support this cause, simply follow the sign-up instructions in their website. If you'd like to read their position paper that fully explains the context and the implementation of the abovementioned 5-step process, click here.

It's about time we end the division and speak with One Voice.

sunshine in a gloomy day

Most people unknowingly match their disposition with the weather. Oh it's overcast; I feel sad today. But truth is, there's a lot of sunshine around if we choose to embrace it.

Today is all about my invisible sunflowers and daisies --- vast sunshine in spite of the grey skies.

1. Celebrating my sister's birthday in spirit.
   
2. Hakaw and Siomai at the neighborhood Chinese tea house with my sister.
3. Razon's Special Halo-halo.
4. Receiving a sampaguita garland from strangers in the car in front of mine while stuck in traffic.
5. Mango Embrace cake and adobo flakes pasta at Fleur de Lys.
6. A good laugh and an interesting story amidst college friends.
7. Three hours of bonding with a girlfriend over Tropical Passion and Double Vanilla Tea Lattes.
8. Planning for a gourmet cooking evening for Friday.

Nothing really life changing happened today, but it was a good day nevertheless. I think, if only people would pay more attention to these little nice things, then no cloudy skies can ever bring shadows to the days of our lives.

text message

I use the dictionary function when I compose text messages on my mobile phone because it's faster to produce sentences for someone, such as myself, who refuses to use text language (unless it's an international SMS message) nor distort our languages' proper usage. (e.g. tulog na me. dito na me way.)

For those who don't understand how this function works, the dictionary feature for text messages have stored words or registers uncommon words that are frequently used. The feature makes such words readily available as a default for certain buttons pressed. But when you end up not using a particular word, it is erased off default for more words to be used.

Today I found myself composing text messages hypothetically and ended up pressing these buttons:

6-9-2-4

Months ago, through the dictionary function, these buttons would immediately spell out MWAH. Now it spells out NYAH, and no amount of asterisk pressing can shift it to a different word.

Not a frequently used word anymore. What I'm trying to say is, I miss being able to send out such words of affection to someone who is entitled to it. I miss sending sweet nothings. I miss the intimacy. I miss this... but there's no better way than this.

"THE" Job

At some point during your entire job hunt, you come across the job. The ultimate one that you've been waiting for. The job that will bring you a different level of joy (not just happiness) if you do land it. And you don't even need to experience it to know you're going to be happy with it. It just is. Your ideal. Your perfect glove fit.

So what do you do?

Nothing.

That's the thing. You can't do anything but wait for the application to progress. Leave your fate in the hands of your future employers. A reality in the job race is that it isn't about who exerted the most effort in finding a job --- it's about who has the best timing to receive a job offer. And man, I am praying so hard that this is the perfect timing that I've been waiting for.

On the other hand, perhaps, there's no harm in offering a tray of eggs or two to Santa Clara this afternoon. Hehe.

The Fray and Perspectives

*Select Verses*

All At Once (Lyrics)
Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

How To Save A Life (Lyrics)
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Heaven Forbid (Lyrics)
Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It feels good. Is that reason enough for you.
It feels good. Is that reason enough for you.

Oceans (Lyrics)
Figure since I'm so far gone, oceans away, I can lay my saber down today.
I miss the words. I love the words, you did not say.
I miss the kiss you never gave away.
There goes the sun, oceans away
And days die young when you're gone and you're gone
There goes the sun, oceans away
And leaves the day for someone else

commitment issues?

This was one of those posts I was supposed to finish, but never did. Sorry sa mga pinaasa ko. Haha!

Anyway, this picture right here is actually me, wearing my sister's wedding gown. I modeled it for her over webcam (because she's in New York), just to show her that the PhP6,000 duchess satin creation is in fact very, very stunning. Anyway, I decided to put myself in fantasy world and added that luminous butterfly I seem to be extra melancholic about.

[You are my hero, Adobe Photoshop.]

They say so many words are captured in a single photograph. Well, this here is metaphorical me. Amidst the grand concept of eternal commitment.

Imagining it at best, yes. That could be me wearing the gown. I am quite capable of wearing that gown. To some even, I'm probably one of the more eligible to be clothed in ivory white.

But to capture that light before me, beyond the touch of shimmering satin, is a different story... I can only behold the brightness with my forlorn eyes at the moment, as it flutters away. Flutters by. That darn butterfly. A symbol of complete metamorphosis and acceptance of the darkness before beauty can be had. The plunge to an illimitable abyss and to wake up and fly away with such joyful struggles. That I cannot do. Yet.

It comes to a point when you wonder when you'll ever be ready. But I pray, oh every day I pray, that some day I can touch that light and I will no longer be merely clothed in such a deceiving darkness. May the Dark vanish and there will only be me and my Sun.

goodbye sickness!

After months of being ruri-un (or sickly), I just stopped being sick.

Case in point, last night, I went jogging with a friend even though it was drizzling. And strangely, I didn't end up having a mild fever or yet another dry cough episode, as I probably would have if I did this months ago. And mornings are not as physically tormenting anymore. And my perennial back pain also vanished. And I can cover the UP Oval for two hours straight and still be productive enough for the evening.

I guess my body has been speaking to me more blatantly than ever, at the presence of psychological and physical conflict. I just paid no attention, until today. Bottomline, this change thing should be for the best. [Yes, I keep rationalizing every day.]

waking up earlier than usual

perhaps it helps to wake up earlier than the ordinary time... to excite yourself to a new day's possibilities and to just can't wait to experience something new. and when i talk about waking up here, it cuts across so many forms of slumber.

breakfast won't be in another hour or so. but i don't have to go back to sleep.

---
and by the way, i just deleted my friendster account. as in just now. phew.

because i realized this is not the way i want to find out how my friends are doing. i'd like to find out how they are simply by emailing or texting or CALLING them DIRECTLY. to some extent, i have to admit, medyo low EQ yung friendster. things don't have to be this conveniently aloof.

the angel amidst the frightening night

I think for most people my age, because the transition is more real than we normally would think, we are faced with that petrifying moment of stopping short with dropped jaws, staring at the monstrous edifice that covers us in shadow, and just realizing we have to make a move. Now. For our own survival. That is every person's frightening night of self-realization. It is a point when our qualifications crumble and the reality of the world is set in place. And if we are to survive, we have no choice but to accept and be open to the countless possibilities that may happen. Mistakes and failure included.

But God must love me so much, he made sure someone --- an angel amidst the frightening night --- will whisper to my ear precisely the words so many people have long been afraid to say. "It does not have to be this way if only you will it so."

If this entry had been written earlier, I would have been very particular about anonymity. More often than not, I get annoyed by blogs that have become (to some) such pitiful attempts to garner attention to specific persons. Anonymity is generally more appropriate, in my opinion. But in this case, my angel deserves the beaming audience (myself included).

My angel is miguel manuel dorotan.

If we were just ordinary people, it would have been impossible for me to express my gratitude for your mature love while apologizing for how this chapter had to end. But migs, you made it a tall order of virtue that became worthwhile and cathartic. You made it a miracle. And in doing so, you are the miracle.

I will keep your noble, majestic image carved in my grateful heart. And even if it has to be this way, I will gaze at you and understand what life truly stands for. A million thanks.

by invitation only

i've been telling people, it's strange how i've always gone all out --- almost prostituting myself ---- in order to plan out the perfect (not necessarily grand) birthday celebration for the special people in my life. this one's no exception. the birthday celebrant just happens to be my very self. hehe.

i'm trying to keep this celebration at a manageable number, so wait for your tickets, dear friends. and witness how memorable this evening will be.

forever

there is no such thing as forever. but even as change is something we cannot live without, we work things out only when we enter into a commitment with forever in mind.

the soundtrack of my life

all of a sudden, music became the very air of my existence.

i've never spoken about a personal hobby, even when people talk about the sports, the cooking, the photography, the literature and every other -ing or -y or -ure there is known to mankind. it dawned on me today though (and with an almost frustrated "finally") that, indeed, i am obsessed with music. i listen to these seemingly incoherent sounds and find sense in the orchestra of beats and bass and guitars. i drown in this interplay of elements. and the voice speaks... oh the voice that is enchanting, like a siren's song. but most of all, the poetry that comes with every created masterpiece has this much to say about the life we toil through every day. the poetry becomes my daily soundtrack.

i finally found out what really captures my attention: MUSIC. and many people out there are just like me. you'd wonder how the Ipod became such a hit, hence, we find commuters, for instance, boarding the LRT with some form of mp3 player to fiddle around with.

if there's anything that hasn't changed about me (only improved perhaps), it has to be my penchant for the great melodies.

all hail contemporary music.

311, a perfect circle, alicia keys, bamboo, ben harper, bush, coldplay, death cab for cutie, editors, elliott smith, embrace, esthero, frou frou, fuel, garbage, gavin de graw, guster, imago, incubus, jack johnson, jason mraz, jars of clay, jewel, john mayer, jose gonzales, lamb, martina topley-bird, matchbox 20, n.e.r.d., orange and lemons, paramita, pete yorn, powderfinger, richard ashcroft, rob thomas, smashing pumpkins, stonefree, sugarfree, switchfoot, the cardigans, the dandy warhols, the eraserheads, the verve, U2, up dharma down, vertical horizon

being "adulterous" to the schedule

New Year normally starts off with my natural high of constructing the most complicated and rather rigid schedule of "to do" list. I never realized it until today but I have actually institutionalized this as a RITUAL every single New Year for the past, say, ten years? It's just the revelry of a fresh start that tickles my OC-ness and lo, behold! Schedules and budgets and personal targets are written down nicely (sometimes printed) in finest detail. So, you think you've made a new year's resolution and you're damn proud of it? Wait til you see my new year's agenda!

But as in any new year's resolution, it starts out promising... ends up in ruins. The sticky part in planning for things is really keeping up with the plans. Exhibit A: Myself. Right Now. Wasting yet another fifteen minutes composing a blog entry. And totally violating my oh-so-sacred commitment to the schedule I've set for the next, erm, two weeks. When will I learn?

Well, I guess that's just my system creeping up to me, saying, "Hey you need a little spontaneity in your life?" Go and crack the mold. Being "adulterous" to the schedule may have its disadvantages (e.g. sleepless nights) but it's still fun. The adrenalin rush is of course exhilarating.

Happy new year! I'm ready for some spicing up. c",)

putting out the fire: pyro olympics soaked

and it rained. and being drenched became negligible. and the sun and moon henna was a total waste of P50.

but it was the most memorable rainy day spent with Apple and Ogge. Missed you so much, guys. Thank you for the fireworks. It was such a beautiful evening. c",)