the angel amidst the frightening night

I think for most people my age, because the transition is more real than we normally would think, we are faced with that petrifying moment of stopping short with dropped jaws, staring at the monstrous edifice that covers us in shadow, and just realizing we have to make a move. Now. For our own survival. That is every person's frightening night of self-realization. It is a point when our qualifications crumble and the reality of the world is set in place. And if we are to survive, we have no choice but to accept and be open to the countless possibilities that may happen. Mistakes and failure included.

But God must love me so much, he made sure someone --- an angel amidst the frightening night --- will whisper to my ear precisely the words so many people have long been afraid to say. "It does not have to be this way if only you will it so."

If this entry had been written earlier, I would have been very particular about anonymity. More often than not, I get annoyed by blogs that have become (to some) such pitiful attempts to garner attention to specific persons. Anonymity is generally more appropriate, in my opinion. But in this case, my angel deserves the beaming audience (myself included).

My angel is miguel manuel dorotan.

If we were just ordinary people, it would have been impossible for me to express my gratitude for your mature love while apologizing for how this chapter had to end. But migs, you made it a tall order of virtue that became worthwhile and cathartic. You made it a miracle. And in doing so, you are the miracle.

I will keep your noble, majestic image carved in my grateful heart. And even if it has to be this way, I will gaze at you and understand what life truly stands for. A million thanks.