The Table Napkin Wager

Song of the Moment: Mausam and Escape by A.R. Rahman (Slumdog Millionaire OST)

Some random evening in 2008, the girls were at Dome Cafe in Shangri-La, sipping coffee and tea and eating stale, free cake from Cravings. It could have been a typical get together, but something came to fruition that night.

It was the evening of the table napkin wager.

You know you're getting older when the topics you talk about over meals become more, well, mature. In our case, we noticed that our discussions gradually grew up from "which college will I get into?" to "I'm taking up BS Extracurriculars with a Minor in Management/Economics" to "what company should I work for?" and now, "who'll get married or get pregnant first?" And so began the humor behind the table napkin.

We took an unassuming sheet of Dome table napkin and scribbled down our speculations for the race to adulthood. It was simple. We each put our money on a person in the group who would most likely:

a) Get married first. (Excluding the one person who already got married in the US)

b) Get pregnant first.

We had every person sign off her stake and are now still awaiting results. The buy-in wasn't too big though, at PhP100 per person, but it was fun to actually gamble on something and pretend that the total pot was enough to finance that person's  bridal shower or baby shower. 

Since then, there have been playful banters of "My money's still on you!" as if PhP100 will amount to much these days. 

As the months passed and the table napkin remains unscarred in my wallet, more and more people from our circles got pregnant, got hitched, started a family. I can name so many high school batchmates whom I've discovered in shock as ladies who apparently have a higher propensity to settle down than any one of us in the barkada. They used to be the most rowdy ones, the most playful ones, the rather "tomboy-ish" ones, the wild children, and even the quiet ones. And now they're starting a family faster than I can say "I think I'm ready to take the next step." As it has been seen the past months, there isn't a clear winner among the contenders of the table napkin yet. (It's true, Rina! Hehehe.) And my lingering question is: "What makes one truly ready to move on?"

 

2009 is at hand. This same group of jocular (but secretly desperate!) girls decided to push each other to personal objectives of every kind, with the predominant goal "Have a love life this year." I feel lucky enough that I have one to begin with, and I'm truly overjoyed with what I have. But am I really ready to take that next step? Is it the right time? There are still some questions that I have yet to ask, and answer.  

I'm writing this as I near my 25th birthday. Imagine that. I've been walking this earth for 25 years. I've stopped calling it a quarter-life crisis, because it's a little over one fourth of my intended life already. But there are still introspective questions... there will always be questions. I may be beginning to imagine a more definite life, with definite long-term goals and a definite person holding my hand. But as far as I'm concerned, things can still change this year. 

For now, I think I'll sit back and watch one Facebook status after another change from single to engaged/married, wondering if I can muster enough guts to go beyond the lip service and actually take that plunge....

we like to spice it up like that...

Song of the Moment: Your Heart is An Empty Room by Death Cab for Cutie

The other day over breakfast, my dad suddenly addressed me and said, "Well, if he's really the one already, you have to show him who you really are --- both good and bad qualities." I wasn't expecting him to say something off-topic like that, but I gladly took it in and muttered, almost inaudibly, "I happen to think I'm at my most candid self around him."  

Well, it's true. 

I think he has seen me at my worst state. In fact, we started out with him pulling me up from bouts of self-pity. He knows I'm still nursing from a few self-esteem issues, so he's firm but reasonable about sudden urges to regress to past habits. He knows I'm anal about my expenditures, and he's been teaching me to loosen up a bit. He knows that I don't remember ever having a childhood, so he's throwing toys and video games at me in an effort to salvage the lost child within. He knows and can relate to perennial family business drama, because he's in one as well (and not a lot of people can offer that perspective). The start of 2009 means we're nearing the 3-year mark, and looking back, I'm proud to say that there hasn't been a single problem that wasn't addressed through diplomatic communication. We're doing very well... so well, that a lot of people might say we're boring. YAWN.

But hey, we're not "serious" all the time. In fact, a great amount of time we spend together involves silly banters, warm hugs and lighthearted laughter. I don't think I've had so much fun with anyone else! We've managed to keep things very interesting by doing the following: 

1. We've spent time with each other's families in Manila and out of town.

2. We've played video games together. (Well, I tried... although every time there's a difficult level, I hand over the controller to him.)

3. We're taking Zen Meditation together. 

4. We played single and picked up each other at the bar. (This failed after less than a minute, cuz I couldn't contain my laughter! Hahaha!) 

5. We took a history walking tour together. 

6. We braved orc fests together. 

7. We dressed up like silly and spent on expensive dinners, even if the occasion was only "because we felt like it."

8. We had food delivered to his house from TWO restaurants because we couldn't decide what to eat, and then ate everything the entire afternoon.

9. We've brushed our teeth beside each other, and talked with our mouths filled with foam.

10. We ordered an entire cake and ate it together, before even having dinner. 

11. We go yogging together. 

12. We attempted to play badminton together. 

13. We love to swim (more like wade) together in the pool or by the beach.

14. We watched a Tagalog R-18 movie (and we almost put paper bags over our heads). I forgot the title, but Maui Taylor and Baron Geisler were there.  

15. We played lasertag as soon as we found out that LazerExtreme opened.

16. We've gone go karting at Fort Bonifacio together. 

17. We've gone shopping together. 

18. We've done grocery shopping together.

19.  We've watched plays and movies and concerts.

20. We've shared numerous songs, movies, information and other interesting downloads from the internet. Go figure. Hehehe.

 

It makes me so happy just remembering the many months, years we've spent with each other. And to imagine a lifetime of doing so much more gives me something to look forward to, something to hold on to, and something worth waking up to every morning of my life.

  

Breather.

Song of the Moment: Reverie by Debussy 

It's one of those weeks again. I'm missing my running/swimming targets in exchange for evening rest from incredibly long, hard... days. Hehe. Montalban, Rizal on Monday. Cabuyao, Laguna on Tuesday. Meycauayan and Cabuyao, Laguna on Wednesday (Ack! Opposite ends of GMA!).  Mexico, Pampanga on Thursday. Muntinlupa City and Cabuyao, Laguna on Friday. I swear, these gasoline companies are making so much money from people like me. 

I like the feeling of being busy, actually. It's a masochistic assurance that I'm productive. I like driving long roads and then pulling over because you have to urgently take a call or reply to a text message. It's like you're actually of consequence to the company you work for. (Tsk tsk. I don't normally pull over by the way. And my phone's on touch screen! Danger!) 

But I know there are health risks to this kind of lifestyle. That's why I committed to very rigorous targets in terms of physical activity. And I started listening to more soothing (aka Classical) music on the road so I don't get stressed by traffic congestion. And I'm gonna attend the Glimpse to Zen on Sunday, because I want to learn and master high-level meditation practices.

I need breathers like this. 

So 2009 is at hand. I'm cooking up so many things in the kitchen. But the few times I can, I think I will take time to just pause and feel the present. I'm glad I'm right here, right now. I wouldn't want it any other way. :)