www.onevoice.org.ph

I wanted to make a separate entry for this, seeing how powerful it is to spread ideas even to the few people who visit my blog. And amidst the threat of a pseudo-dictatorship or destructive anarchy or both, I can recall truly powerful lines from one of my favorite movies (and graphic novels) of all time, V for Vendetta:

"You cannot kill me. There is no flesh and blood within this cloak to kill.
There is only an idea. And ideas are bulletproof."

Yes, over and above bloodshed, we have shared ideas. It is in the immense power of our principles and the bushfire spread of such ideas where we may find the salvific democracy we long for --- an understanding, a personal vindication against social hopelessness, a committed participation, and a unifying cause, all for the promise of such a glorious democracy. How so many people speak of the American Dream, when we can dream so much more for our beloved country. Can we not speak of it? Of the Philippine Dream? And soon the cancer of our society will transform into an overwhelming concerned civilian force, looking for small but coordinated solutions to the deeply embedded problems of corruption, apathy and lack of hope.

Enter One Voice. A caucus of civilians and concerned groups that still dream lovingly for their country. Briefly, they propose a 5-step process towards social renewal:

1. Discontinuance of the present "people's initiative";
2. A social reform program now;
3. Elections in 2007 as scheduled, as an indirect referendum, and electoral reform now;
4. If necessary, a constitutional convention (not a "con-ass") after the 2007 elections, and;
5. A collective effort to rebuild the trustworthiness of our democratic institutions.

If you'd like to support this cause, simply follow the sign-up instructions in their website. If you'd like to read their position paper that fully explains the context and the implementation of the abovementioned 5-step process, click here.

It's about time we end the division and speak with One Voice.

sunshine in a gloomy day

Most people unknowingly match their disposition with the weather. Oh it's overcast; I feel sad today. But truth is, there's a lot of sunshine around if we choose to embrace it.

Today is all about my invisible sunflowers and daisies --- vast sunshine in spite of the grey skies.

1. Celebrating my sister's birthday in spirit.
   
2. Hakaw and Siomai at the neighborhood Chinese tea house with my sister.
3. Razon's Special Halo-halo.
4. Receiving a sampaguita garland from strangers in the car in front of mine while stuck in traffic.
5. Mango Embrace cake and adobo flakes pasta at Fleur de Lys.
6. A good laugh and an interesting story amidst college friends.
7. Three hours of bonding with a girlfriend over Tropical Passion and Double Vanilla Tea Lattes.
8. Planning for a gourmet cooking evening for Friday.

Nothing really life changing happened today, but it was a good day nevertheless. I think, if only people would pay more attention to these little nice things, then no cloudy skies can ever bring shadows to the days of our lives.

text message

I use the dictionary function when I compose text messages on my mobile phone because it's faster to produce sentences for someone, such as myself, who refuses to use text language (unless it's an international SMS message) nor distort our languages' proper usage. (e.g. tulog na me. dito na me way.)

For those who don't understand how this function works, the dictionary feature for text messages have stored words or registers uncommon words that are frequently used. The feature makes such words readily available as a default for certain buttons pressed. But when you end up not using a particular word, it is erased off default for more words to be used.

Today I found myself composing text messages hypothetically and ended up pressing these buttons:

6-9-2-4

Months ago, through the dictionary function, these buttons would immediately spell out MWAH. Now it spells out NYAH, and no amount of asterisk pressing can shift it to a different word.

Not a frequently used word anymore. What I'm trying to say is, I miss being able to send out such words of affection to someone who is entitled to it. I miss sending sweet nothings. I miss the intimacy. I miss this... but there's no better way than this.

"THE" Job

At some point during your entire job hunt, you come across the job. The ultimate one that you've been waiting for. The job that will bring you a different level of joy (not just happiness) if you do land it. And you don't even need to experience it to know you're going to be happy with it. It just is. Your ideal. Your perfect glove fit.

So what do you do?

Nothing.

That's the thing. You can't do anything but wait for the application to progress. Leave your fate in the hands of your future employers. A reality in the job race is that it isn't about who exerted the most effort in finding a job --- it's about who has the best timing to receive a job offer. And man, I am praying so hard that this is the perfect timing that I've been waiting for.

On the other hand, perhaps, there's no harm in offering a tray of eggs or two to Santa Clara this afternoon. Hehe.

The Fray and Perspectives

*Select Verses*

All At Once (Lyrics)
Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

How To Save A Life (Lyrics)
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Heaven Forbid (Lyrics)
Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

It feels good. Is that reason enough for you.
It feels good. Is that reason enough for you.

Oceans (Lyrics)
Figure since I'm so far gone, oceans away, I can lay my saber down today.
I miss the words. I love the words, you did not say.
I miss the kiss you never gave away.
There goes the sun, oceans away
And days die young when you're gone and you're gone
There goes the sun, oceans away
And leaves the day for someone else

commitment issues?

This was one of those posts I was supposed to finish, but never did. Sorry sa mga pinaasa ko. Haha!

Anyway, this picture right here is actually me, wearing my sister's wedding gown. I modeled it for her over webcam (because she's in New York), just to show her that the PhP6,000 duchess satin creation is in fact very, very stunning. Anyway, I decided to put myself in fantasy world and added that luminous butterfly I seem to be extra melancholic about.

[You are my hero, Adobe Photoshop.]

They say so many words are captured in a single photograph. Well, this here is metaphorical me. Amidst the grand concept of eternal commitment.

Imagining it at best, yes. That could be me wearing the gown. I am quite capable of wearing that gown. To some even, I'm probably one of the more eligible to be clothed in ivory white.

But to capture that light before me, beyond the touch of shimmering satin, is a different story... I can only behold the brightness with my forlorn eyes at the moment, as it flutters away. Flutters by. That darn butterfly. A symbol of complete metamorphosis and acceptance of the darkness before beauty can be had. The plunge to an illimitable abyss and to wake up and fly away with such joyful struggles. That I cannot do. Yet.

It comes to a point when you wonder when you'll ever be ready. But I pray, oh every day I pray, that some day I can touch that light and I will no longer be merely clothed in such a deceiving darkness. May the Dark vanish and there will only be me and my Sun.

goodbye sickness!

After months of being ruri-un (or sickly), I just stopped being sick.

Case in point, last night, I went jogging with a friend even though it was drizzling. And strangely, I didn't end up having a mild fever or yet another dry cough episode, as I probably would have if I did this months ago. And mornings are not as physically tormenting anymore. And my perennial back pain also vanished. And I can cover the UP Oval for two hours straight and still be productive enough for the evening.

I guess my body has been speaking to me more blatantly than ever, at the presence of psychological and physical conflict. I just paid no attention, until today. Bottomline, this change thing should be for the best. [Yes, I keep rationalizing every day.]

waking up earlier than usual

perhaps it helps to wake up earlier than the ordinary time... to excite yourself to a new day's possibilities and to just can't wait to experience something new. and when i talk about waking up here, it cuts across so many forms of slumber.

breakfast won't be in another hour or so. but i don't have to go back to sleep.

---
and by the way, i just deleted my friendster account. as in just now. phew.

because i realized this is not the way i want to find out how my friends are doing. i'd like to find out how they are simply by emailing or texting or CALLING them DIRECTLY. to some extent, i have to admit, medyo low EQ yung friendster. things don't have to be this conveniently aloof.

the angel amidst the frightening night

I think for most people my age, because the transition is more real than we normally would think, we are faced with that petrifying moment of stopping short with dropped jaws, staring at the monstrous edifice that covers us in shadow, and just realizing we have to make a move. Now. For our own survival. That is every person's frightening night of self-realization. It is a point when our qualifications crumble and the reality of the world is set in place. And if we are to survive, we have no choice but to accept and be open to the countless possibilities that may happen. Mistakes and failure included.

But God must love me so much, he made sure someone --- an angel amidst the frightening night --- will whisper to my ear precisely the words so many people have long been afraid to say. "It does not have to be this way if only you will it so."

If this entry had been written earlier, I would have been very particular about anonymity. More often than not, I get annoyed by blogs that have become (to some) such pitiful attempts to garner attention to specific persons. Anonymity is generally more appropriate, in my opinion. But in this case, my angel deserves the beaming audience (myself included).

My angel is miguel manuel dorotan.

If we were just ordinary people, it would have been impossible for me to express my gratitude for your mature love while apologizing for how this chapter had to end. But migs, you made it a tall order of virtue that became worthwhile and cathartic. You made it a miracle. And in doing so, you are the miracle.

I will keep your noble, majestic image carved in my grateful heart. And even if it has to be this way, I will gaze at you and understand what life truly stands for. A million thanks.