Entry 12: Airport Reflection

Song of the Moment: This is For Keeps by The Spill Canvas

One of the best places I found conducive to reflection during my trip was the airport boarding area. For some reason, I tend to skip the duty-free shopping pilgrimage to the boarding area and head straight to a comfortable seat near my flight’s assigned gate. More often than not, I get to the gate to find all the seats still empty. Everything’s tranquil and simply perfect for another blog moment, with nothing but me and my music.     

I’m one hour early from boarding again, on the 9th day of the trip of a lifetime, here at the Suvarnabhumi International Airport (Thailand). I’ve been to five different cities in a short span of time, and the feeling is so surreal. I’m down to my last two, Hong Kong and Macau, but I dunno if I’m ready to open my eyes from this dream just yet.  I’m hesitant to make that effort to wake up to the humdrum slumber of work routine. 

But there’s a part of me that longs for:

• my dad’s corny jokes (scoffed at by JR or myself) and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon with him;
• my mom’s post-menopausal moodiness and her quiet, supportive embraces;
• Enzo’s insanely warm hugs and soft kisses, coupled with hours and hours of wonderful conversations;
• my brother’s kwento of yet another surprise foolery (like impulse-buying an X-Box) or some fascinating pop culture fact;
• my lolo’s detachment and depression;
• my strong women friends’ constant stories about career triumphs and failed blind dates;
• a Filipino home-cooked meal;
• a good run around Bonifacio High Street;
• a relaxing swim at the Valle Verde Country Club;
• the many emails and phone rings at work;
• the endless client visits;
• the quiet drive to and from Cabuyao, Laguna;
• the senseless reality TV shows and talk shows on ETC and 2nd Avenue;
• my hard bed and forgetting to turn off the light at night;
• my vibrant Manila, and all things Filipino.
  

Oh here comes a moment of reverie.

There’s a flashback of memories playing in my head similar to some 1950s fast-forward silent film. See, in most days, it doesn’t feel like a lot has changed. But in the quiet moments such as this, something otherworldly (or inwardly) compels me to recall so many moments in the past. There were numerous euphoric victories and so many necessary heartaches and disappointments... ultimately, so many powerful life-changing experiences. I am so different from who I was before. I am no longer that mousy girl with bangs from years ago, who was so unsure and kept grasping for air in the dark. Now, more than ever, my life is all about deep love, commitment, ownership, accountability, gratitude, giving back, friendship, communication, power, peace, hope, creativity and being alive right now. My life is still uncertain, but I’m more prepared than ever to embrace uncertainty. I’m all grown up, and it feels so damn good to affirm that.