Entry 6: The Attack of the Swarm of Vs/Bs

Song of the Moment: Doomsday Clock by The Smashing Pumpkins

Vs as in Vespas. Or Bs as in Bicycles. 

It’s funny how I was so excited to take photos of the swarm of motorcycles traversing the streets of Ho Chi Minh while I was on the taxi going to my hotel. But when I was already walking around and crossing the streets because I had to.. O.M.G. It’s a death wish waiting to be realized! These Motorcycles and Bicycles mercilessly speed through traffic, with seemingly no care for pedestrians. Seriously, you can die from getting run over by a V/B! But I trust LonelyPlanet.com with their claim: 

“...crossing the street in Saigon can seem impossible to the uninitiated, but it's actually pretty simple.  Don't bother waiting for a break in the traffic, just step out and walk at a steady pace. Try not to stop and never ever step back. Vietnamese motorists are used to all manner of random obstacles and are perfectly happy to go around pedestrians... after all, running you over is just too much paperwork.”

It’s rather difficult to communicate in English here too. You really have to speak very slowly, in very simple English... Otherwise, you get quizzical looks. I took the tour around the Reunification Palace today and this was a funny conversation between the tour guide and some British woman.

Tour Guide: “Sow at the beck of the recip room is two elephent tus... A gift to the President from the military shojo.”

British Woman: “I’m sorry. A gift from whom?”

Tour Guide: “From the shojo. Military. You know. Shojo.”

British Woman: *thinking hard* ehmmm.. Shojooo...

American Man, Overhearing the Conversation: “You mean, Soldier?”

Tour Guide: “Yes! Yes! Shojo. Military. Shojo.” 

British Woman: Oh Soldier!

HAHAHAHA!

I also went to the War Remnants Museum and really, until I decide to go to Austria or Poland to see holocaust memorials, that has to be the most depressing tourist attraction I’ve ever been to . They weren’t really so GP about anything in the exhibits, meaning they didn’t care if they have little children visiting the site with their parents. You have photos of the mass murders, photos of body mutations due to Agent Orange and photos of tortured men with amputated limbs or deformed faces. They have such wonderful captions too, of actual statements from military generals being so damn proud of the violence they’re doing. Oh goody! Let’s not forget the replica of the Tiger Cages --- the worst kind of prison during the Vietnam War, complete with wax statues of battered, malnourished prisoners and a chamber with the actual guillotine used for torture! WOW! I’d go there again any day!

Not.

Anyway, I’m finally back at the hotel, resting up for the long day ahead. I’ll probably try riding the motorcycle taxi to the market tomorrow. Then, I’ll fly to Cambodia --- the destination I am most excited about.  

So far, it’s been just the right mix of adventure and well-planned chaos. Really having the time of life. :)