Free WiFi Spots in Manila (and Beyond)

Song for the Moment: Jump on Foot by Holiday for Strings

I am really such a nice person. I mean, I think I was built to be in service or something. Hahaha. J

I came across a thread on philmug that asked for a list of all known free WiFi spots in Manila and beyond. There were a lot of helpful leads there, but it was difficult to follow because they were listed by different people from different areas. So being the ever-helpful and wifi-crazy person that I am, I decided to painstakingly collate and categorize all their leads according to areas.

Here’s the result. (I suggest you download this table from here and have it printed out. It’ll be very helpful!)

ALL BRANCHES
Establishment	Area
Chili's	All Branches
Fish & Co.	All Branches
Itallianni's	All Branches
TGIF	All Branches

ALABANG
Establishment	Area
Total Gas Station	Alabang Hills
Burger King	Alabang Town Center
San Francisco Coffee	BMW Bldg, Commerce Avenue
Swiss Inn	BMW Bldg, Commerce Avenue
Starbucks	Madrigal Avenue

BAGUIO
Establishment	Area
Zola Resto	Session Road

CAINTA
Establishment	Area
Petron Gas Station	Kisad Road Cor. Marcos Highway
Burger King	Marcos Highway
Goodah!	Marcos Highway
Mocha Blends @ Shell Gas Station	Marcos Highway

DAVAO – Most Hotels in Davao offer Free WiFi!
Establishment	Area
Hotel Lobby	Royal Mandaya Hotel

FORT BONIFACIO, TAGUIG CITY
Establishment	Area
Krispy Kreme	Bonifacio High Street
Seattle's Best	Bonifacio High Street
Po Lo Kai	Serendra
Bonifacio Technology Center	The Fort
Fuccini	The Fort
Pasto	The Fort
Pier One	The Fort

LAGUNA
Establishment	Area
Burger King	Calamba

LAS PIÑAS
Establishment	Area
Lifestyle Café	SM Southmall

MAGALLANES
Establishment	Area
Shell Gas Station	Magallanes

MAKATI
Establishment	Area
Starbucks	6750 Ayala Avenue
Robinson's Summit Bldg.	Ayala Avenue
Petron Gas Station	Bel Aire
Starbucks	China Bank Head Office, Paseo de Roxas Avenue
Petron Gas Station	Dasmariñas Village
Tang's / Tang City	Glorietta 3
Burger King	Glorietta 4
Bubba Gump	Greenbelt 3
CCW	Guijo Street
Pizza Hut	Insular Life Bldg., Ayala Avenue
Starbucks	Insular Life Bldg., Ayala Avenue
Joey Pepperoni	Leviste St., Salcedo
Hotel Lobby	Peninsula Manila
43F Yuchengco Tower	RCBC Plaza
Old Swiss Inn	Somerset Olympia Building
San Francisco Coffee	Somerset Olympia Building
Starbucks	VA Rufino Street cor. Valero Street
Philam Care Clinic

MANDALUYONG
Establishment	Area
The Legend Villas	Pioneer Street
Mallwide	Podium Mall
Mallwide	Robinson's Pioneer
Gloria Jeans	SM Megamall
Hawaiian BBQ	SM Megamall

MANILA
Establishment	Area
Baang Coffee	Mall of Asia
CW	Mall of Asia
ABAS	Malvar cor. Nakpil Streets, Malate
Taste Buds	Robinson's Place Ermita
Cerealicious	Sherwood's Place, Taft
Arellano University School of Law	Taft Avenue
Café Molinari	Vito Cruz Street
McDonald's	Vito Cruz Street (near DLSU)

MARIKINA
Establishment	Area
Rapide Car Service	A. Tuazon Street

NLEX
Establishment	Area
Petron Gas Station	NLEX, Between San Fernando & Angeles Exit

PAMPANGA
Establishment	Area
Burger King	SM Pampanga
Partyplace	SM Pampanga

PASIG CITY
Establishment	Area
Pier One	Ortigas Home Depot
SpeedyFix	Shaw Boulevard

QUEZON CITY
Establishment	Area
UP Institute for Small-Scale Industries	Diliman
Pancake House	E. Rodriguez Sr. Boulevard
Shakey's	E. Rodriguez Sr. Boulevard
Burger King	E. Rodriguez Sr. Boulevard
McDonald's	Eastwood City
Starbucks	Fairview (Near FEU Fairview Campus)
Mallwide	Gateway
Burger King	Mall of Asia
St. Peter Funeral	Quezon Avenue
Mallwide	Robinson's Galleria
Mallwide	Robinson's Metro East
Cafea Rest	Sgt. Esguerra Street (near ABS-CBN)
Burger King	SM Fairview
Brewing Point	Tierra Pura
Baang Coffee	Tomas Morato Avenue
CBTL	Tomas Morato Avenue
Gruppo Barbero	Tomas Morato Avenue
I Have Two Eggs	Tomas Morato Avenue
Kozui Green Tea	Tomas Morato Avenue
Pier One	Tomas Morato Avenue
Burger King	Tomas Morato Avenue
Jollibee	TriNoMa
McDonald's	TriNoMa
Krispy Kreme	TriNoMa

SAN JUAN
Establishment	Area
Waco's Café	Broadway Centrum
Jollibee	In front of V-Mall, Greenhills
Krispy Kreme	Greenhills
Theater Mall Food Center	Greenhills

SUCAT, PARAÑAQUE
Establishment	Area
Total Gas Station	Sucat Avenue

DISCLAIMER: I just collated EVERYTHING and put it on a sorted file. These are leads mentioned by people from the forum, and I cannot guarantee that all of them do have free WiFi. Nonetheless, it won’t hurt to ask the establishment’s manager. Sometimes, the WiFi access is free-for-all. But more often than not, these establishments have a secured network that requires a password request from the manager.

Erratum SIX Years Delayed!

Song of the Moment: Apologize by OneRepublic (featuring Timbaland)

For some reason, I found myself looking through my HIGHSCHOOL yearbook this evening and just discovered that we overlooked a typographical error on the book cover! Gaaaah! Why didn’t we notice that at all?

“Makeovers that Didn’t Require the Kit, Just the Fun of YOUR Years.”

YOUR should be FOUR (referring to FOUR years in high school), just in case you also missed that and didn’t twitch at the sight of that phrase.

Have you ever had a boo-boo from years ago that you just recently realized? Perhaps you suddenly understood why those words you said were hurtful. Perhaps you suddenly realized that what you did caused so much pain. Perhaps your eyes were opened to reckless, fun things you used to do but now they just seem juvenile and uncool. Would you apologize?

*Cue Apologize by OneRepublic* (Sorry just had to. Hehehe.)

But seriously, I think I would. I would apologize. I apologize. I think an apology, or anything for that matter, is better said late than brought to the grave and never resolved.

Of Anti-Aging Products and Make-Up

Song of the Moment: Cherry Lips by Garbage

Do you have a beauty regimen?

I do. In fact, I think my beauty regimen is a lot more complicated than most. I don’t really tell a lot of people about the beauty regimen I’ve developed for myself. Plus, I don’t necessarily bring this regimen with me when I travel, so this elaborate ceremony has never been witnessed by anyone else except myself. But when I’m at home, I really do pull out all the stops and devote a lot of time to this tedious process.

Here’s the ridiculous process I engage in every evening before I sleep and every morning while getting ready for work:

1. Face Shop Facial Wash + Pond’s Facial Wash (I normally do two facial washes --- one facial wash for pre-shower, one DURING my shower. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know either.
2. Face Shop Skin Toner
3. Pond’s Whitening Cream
4. Skincode Radiance Moisturizer
5. Boots No7 Restore and Renew Beauty Serum
6. Boots No7 Reviving Eye Gel + Clarins Eye Revive Beauty Flash (I use two kinds of eye cream too.)
7. Oxy-10 Vanishing Formula, if necessary
8. Kiehl’s Nourishing Cream + Udderly Smooth Udder Cream (I use either of the two for my feet, hands, elbows, etc.)
9. Boots Body Sculpting Cream (Targeted Areas Only)
10. Boots Stretchmark Corrector (Targeted Areas Only)
11. Jergens Skin Moisturizer (For the Entire Body)
12. DAY Only: Bath & Body Skin Moisturizer (Targeted Areas Only)
13. DAY Only: Bath & Body or Victoria's Secret Body Splash
14. DAY Only: YSL Baby Doll Perfume

I patiently abide by this process, hoping that this meticulous undertaking will be my ticket to looking young for a very long time. (And with fingers crossed, I hope that my sister keeps leaving slightly consumed bottles/containers of beauty creams for me to finish. Thanks, Ate!)

Anyway, this is where it gets weird. After applying one beauty cream after another, I involve myself in a slightly shorter process of applying make-up to make myself look “older”:

1. Liquid Foundation
2. Powder Foundation
3. Eye Shadow (Cream or Powder)
4. Liquid Eye Liner
5. Blush
6. Lip Balm + Lipstick + Lip Gloss
7. Concealer + Powder Foundation

So I actually make so much effort to slow down the aging process, but nevertheless toil through a similar amount of energy to look older than my age. It blows my mind, now that I’m realizing it. What do I really want to do with my face? Make myself look younger or older?

Metaphorically, this weird beauty regimen is my illustration of how people can get fixated with the past and the future, and totally forget that they are living in the now. Now that I’m thinking about it, perhaps my age is just the right age. I look old enough, but I still manifest a vibrant youth. I don’t need to cling on to my baby face years, neither do I have to aspire to be someone I’ll only become in due time. And this face is all I have, right at this very moment… that’s all that matters.

But that metaphor up there could just be an overreading of things. My beauty regimen is just a curious thing I do without any explanations. I’m just weird like that sometimes.

That's my army right there. Hehehe.

I Power and Net Neutrality

Song of the Moment: Time to Pretend by MGMT

Athene the Best Paladin of the World started out in YouTube, after gaining massive hits on all his YouTube videoas, thanks to each video's display button showing raunchy photos of his gf, "My Bitch" and later known as Tania. Soon after, they launched a campaign to vacate seats in the Belgian Parliament, offering a blowjob from his gf for every vote marked as "NEE" --- they offered 40,000 blow jobs and received requests for 400,000 blow jobs. (If you're a guy and didn't know about this, click here to see the site and feel worse.) At the heart of it all, the campaign was really meant to decentralize power in last year's election for the Belgian Parliament and therefore, help curtail abuse of power.

Later on, the same group started a website documenting the last 90-days of a woman intending to commit suicide. This was, of course, not a real suicide but a campaign to raise awareness regarding suicide, to fight against the suicide culture ---- a disturbing culture that glorifies taking one's life.

I'm not really a fan of their methods, but I admire their passion. In both cases, this group utilized scandalous ways to get attention and eventually tapped a lot of internet users into reading about their causes --- which is more successful than most online advocacies out there.

Recently, they launched another campaign for net neutrality. Lifting from their website: "Net neutrality has been a much debated issue for several years now and there have been many lawsuits in cases where an Internet provider blocked access to a certain competitor's site or simply crippled download speeds on services that they felt were using up too much of their bandwidth." Basically, net neutrality ensures that we will have the freedom to access the websites we want and should be privileged to access. There are nuances to this issue, especially in restricting access to underaged minors; but their advocacy primarily targets prohibitive access to sites that require a commercial fee on top of ad revenues or sites that prohibit access simply because it's against certain cultures.

A recent development on their website claims that:

"Every significant Internet provider around the globe is currently in talks with access and content providers to transform the internet into a television-like medium: no more freedom, you pay for a small commercial package of sites you can visit and you'll have to pay for seperate subscriptions for every site that's not in the package. "

In other words, think cable TV for the internet.

Think limited sites against a certain fee you have to pay.

Internet will never be the same anymore.

For more information, read about the issue on this site: http://ipower.ning.com/netneutrality

Say NO to Net Neutrality! Spread the word!

The Perfect One

Song of the Moment: How We Breathe by Pinback

"I like him, but he’s not my ideal guy.”

These were my friend’s words as she explained her weird dilemma. She was feeling bad about failing to recognize the things the guy did for her to show his intentions. She eventually appeared cold even if she was interested in him. What struck me the most was this: She couldn’t imagine being with the guy anyway because he wasn’t “her type.”

My friend was partly a victim of unconsciously and unnecessarily weeding out the guys she thinks she won’t like. Many times, we look at a man or a woman from head to toe and consult our checklist before we even decide to explore dating. He has to be taller than me. She must be very organized with her things. He has to be a gentleman. She must be nurturing. He has to be earning an X amount of money. She has to have at least 34-25-34 vital statistics. We do a natural selection in our head and as a result, often unconsciously shut out those people who do not pass the criteria. Which is, off the top of my head, 90% of the population? We’re seriously doing something wrong here.

My friend has been single since birth, and she admits that she doesn’t know how to deal with people. Okay, point taken. But what she also has to realize is that the only way to find the Perfect One for her is to explore the vast ocean of fishes with an eye for opportunity, not by making a list of qualities in her logical head and finding the puzzle piece of a man to match. I say, go ahead and go crazy with your hits-and-misses! I can’t really claim to be an expert in matchmaking, but I realized that I had to flirt with/date so many boys/guys/men and go so far as being heartbroken 4-5 times (and I’m only 24 years old!), before I was able to find the perfect one for me. And the funny thing was, HE turned out to be the last person I would date. When I first met him, I tried to entertain the thought of dating him. Note, I don’t leave any stone unturned and look at every single person as an opportunity. But somehow, I always ended up cringing at that idea back then because he was too arrogant, too tall, too lanky, a bit unreliable, etc.

What I thoroughly didn’t expect was change. (And I should have expected this because change is after all the single constant in this world, right?)

He changed. And I changed. Somehow, our desires found each other, and at the end, it could not be helped anymore. “It just happened,” as many of those How-To books will tell you about finding the Right One. “It just happened” seems so difficult to understand, but you see, “It just happened” was actually an end result of years and years of trial and error. It was a result of years and years of slowly and unknowingly being prepared for the one person I was meant to be with.

My father would tell me, “You have to lessen your perfectionism, because you’ll always find yourself stuck at the planning, and never even reaching the execution. You have to trust that things will just work out, even if you haven’t completely thought things through.” The truth is, no matter how good a planner you are (which I apparently am), sometimes the hit-and-miss approach is the only way for you to open up doors you never knew you had the keys to.

We can’t always expect that the road to finding the Perfect One will be a smoothly-paved road; there will be an abundance of roadblocks along the way. We can’t always expect that the people we’ll meet will fit our criteria; for all we know, our criteria for the Perfect One may not even be the right criteria for who we are. We just have to keep looking forward, seize opportunities as they come, make mistakes along the way and reap the ultimate gift of being prepared for the Perfect One.

And while you’re at it, enjoy the ride!

A Revamped Blog

Song of the Moment: Built to Last by Melee

I am a blogger after all.

See, if you know me well, I have quite a frequent posting of "blog entries" over Multiply. So today, I decided to commit to blogging to do two things: a) actually make official my objective for blogging which is to talk about love and life from the eyes of a twenty-something, and; b) to ensure that I document my life in a manner that I'll be comfortable with.

I revisited my old blog, gave it a new name and will now face the tedious process of migrating all the blog entries I had from a social network that SHOULD NOT be used for blogging purposes. So obviously, the next few entries prior to this are actually migrated blog entries.

Afterwhich, I will commence a blog-a-thon of sorts. Go easy on me, but my goal is to write at least one entry per day until I get the hang of things as I actually shed light on a phenomenon we all feel we're tackling alone, but we're really not: Quarter-Life Crisis. I have no intention of being one of those popular bloggers out there, but I'd like to meet some of you too! Feel free to say hello and drop me a line.

So that first line up there is explained, I'd like to include one song from my iPod's 3000++ songs to capture my feeling at the very moment I'm blogging. That pretty much captures every blogger's aspiration, doesn't it?

Lastly, so you can navigate better across the blogs, entries are categorized as:
1. Old Blog - Old Entries from a Previous Life.. erm, Blog

2. About the Blog - Random Stuff about the blogger or the blog's developments
3. Anger Management - Expect a rant from entries with this tag. These entries are more for my own consumption than yours. This blog is also my outlet, you know.
4. Being Human - Philosophical entries that generally deal with introspection and discernment about humanity. Partly geeky, partly eureeka-ish.
5. Call to Arms - Entries about social causes or advocacies I support. I will also use this blog as a means to get people to read/talk about issues.
6. Inspirational - Entries I found absolutely entertaining and heartwarming that's worth the "forward" button. I'm generally not fond of forwarding stuff, so these will be exceptional.
7. Dilemma - These entries will have me juxtapose two realities and talk about the grey area in between. Think pros and cons of moral dilemmas or issues.
8. Change - These entries will talk about change and metamorphosis --- something we're often too afraid to do but will actually be good for us.
9. Love - Finally, these entries will talk about the ever elusive but ever talked about theme of love. What's a quarter-life crisis with this drama?

NOTE: Other categories will come as I develop this blog further. This is developmental, so they say.

That's it. I hope you enjoy the blog! Stay tuned.

If Social Restraints Can Be Thrown Out the Window...

Song of the Moment: Falls on Me by Fuel

This is my random DARIA moment. Hehe.

Have you ever had the most tactless set of words you want to say to someone but just can't due to some invisible social walls? Because your source of income depends on it. Or because you're already married to the schmuck. Or because you were born into the Brady Bunch. Or because you gave birth to the Brady Bunch. Or because you're a nun in a convent, but you aspire to be a prostitute at night. You get the picture.

Here are some random things I want to yell out to anyone it applies to. One or more applies to certain people. One or more may not apply to anyone at all. One or more may just sound so bad-ass even if they are meant for fictional characters like the tooth fairy. (Oh, Sorry. Did I just ruin years of childhood bliss?)

1. You have a dead end job. Either you get out of it or die in the process. They don't call it DEAD end for nothing.

2. You don't have a job, and you don't have a lot of friends. Well, boo hoo. Get out of that couch and do something with your life.

3. Admit it. You're just with him/her for his/her money. You may be living the lifestyle you wanted, but not the life you wanted.

4. Who sets the rules in your life? You do.

5. You're too young. You don't know sh*t about the world.

6. You're too old. You don't know sh*t about the world.

7. You listen to people when they say you're too young/old. So, when will you ever be just the right age for anything?

8. Stay away from me, energy vampires. I've had enough of your drama.

9. I won't always be here. Let's see how you deal with that.

10. You're too cheerful. It's annoying.

11. You think they care about what you need and what you want? Awww. That's cute. See, they don't really like you, honey. They just like how you bring money to their cause.

12. Why are you being such a victim? The world does not revolve around you.

13. Don't be so naive. You've been fantasizing about this all your life.

14. Don't be so pretentious. You know you want this and you don't want that.

15. At the extremes of the spectrum, there are only carnal needs and higher needs. Why are you dwelling in the in-between?

16. You think your late night, sick sad little world is happiness? Then, why do you always wake up with a bad hangover, next to someone you don't even know? That's being happy all right. Yesiree.

17. Thinking about different ways you can kill someone doesn't mean you will. Have fun.

18. Make up your mind! The world will not wait for your ego.

19. So you're thin and that's beautiful? You're probably just as much of a stick in bed.

20. "OMG. I can't believe you just said that." OMG. What century are you stuck in?

Now if one or more of these statements hit you in the head and make you go "You're right" while nodding apologetically, then I guess I actually wrote that for you after all. You just needed someone to tell you the painful truth about who you are and where you are at the moment. But yeah, that's just forcing puzzle pieces to fit together. Hehehe. But seriously. May someone actually tell you these things so you'll wake up and get your life all stirred up to utter excitement.

How about you? What's that one tactless remark you've been dying to say to [insert name here]? Go crazy.

The Thin Line Between Recklessness and Embracing Life

Song of the Moment: Remember to Breathe by Dashboard Confessional

Yesterday, I was made to sit through over two hours of grueling film, as I watched the highly acclaimed movie “Into the Wild” --- written and directed by Sean Penn. The motion picture garnered two Oscar nominations, Best Achievement in Editing and Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role, among other notable nominations and distinctions across award-giving bodies in the international film industry. I loosely categorize it as an indie film, but that will depend on your judgment. The story goes this way:

Alex, a young man fresh from Emory College, decides to just leave the material society behind to go on a journey into Alaska's wilderness. He meets many curious characters along the way, and somehow, he manages to leave an indelible mark on each one in the same manner that he learns from each one. He made his own rules, followed where the wind would take him, and just stripped down his lifestyle to the very basics.

Obviously, it would have been a different story all together if a girl played the lead. I can’t even begin to imagine doing what he did. There were points during the movie that made me shake my head and say, “That’s just reckless.” But the very core of the story lies in the adventurous, free spirited footsteps of someone on a quest towards a spiritual revolution, abandoning all the dangerous pretenses of the world and embracing the basic truth of being.

For me, the question I'd like to ask here is, “How can we differentiate a reckless decision from an act of embracing life?” We live in a society that has long perfected traditions, written laws, infrastructures and technology that all exist to help us go through life with a comforting sense of order and safety. We say to ourselves, “Things will go as smooth as I intended, as long as I have X.” X could stand for a degree in college, work experience and wisdom that comes with age. X could stand for money, power and influence. X could stand for a new law, a new government system and political reforms. X could stand for the newest laptop model, a state-of-the-art PDA and the new hybrid vehicle. But admittedly, X is a by-product of the unceasing evolution of Man and consequently, his changing needs. Perhaps in his earliest experiences, there were no X's to begin with. And yet he seemed to have lived as he felt he should and was satisfied. That was sufficient.

So what is reckless then? And what do we mean when we say we should truly embrace life? Try categorizing each one below, and find out what forces are ultimately controlling (or conflicting in) your life.

1. Committing to a pure love with no regard for financial stability, age qualification, parental consent and social divide

2. Choosing a college degree or a job that you love but will guarantee a lifelong struggle for survival

3. Not finishing your education to pursue your dreams

4. Fighting for a cause, even if it means endangering your own family's welfare

5. Dying for a country based on principles alone

6. Rallying behind truth and justice, even if the rest of the world would rather remain with the convenient status quo

7. Choosing the road less traveled that is against the norms driven by your gender, race, religion, social class, etc.

We have a personal choice to make every day... of either being secured by society's progressive values system or being empowered by a strong inner voice. There aren't necessarily any correct answers, nor are there single answers to every question we ask. All we have are differing perspectives in pursuit of different aspirations, within an entire lifetime of balancing acts.

MOTION: This house believes we should stop singing "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse.

Song of the Moment: Rehab by Amy Winehouse.

"They tried to make me go to rehab. I said no, no, no."

And in this debate, I would so eagerly volunteer to be the government prime minister, as long as I use the program cited on Glenn Beck's article entitled, "America Needs a 12-step Program." The great thing about this article is that we can apply it to our own country, and well, even our own personal progress and failure.

Anyway, I lifted the article from this link (jumps to CNN.com). Read on and take a moment to reflect about your own life.

Glenn Beck: America needs a 12-step program
Editor's note: "Glenn Beck" is on Headline News nightly at 7 and 9 ET.

NEW YORK (CNN) -- My name is Glenn Beck, and I am a recovering alcoholic.
It took me a lot of years and a lot of pain to be able to say those words and really believe them. Along the way, I was arrogant, greedy and self-destructive.

But the worst part was that I didn't see any of it.

Even at the lowest, darkest points of my life, I still thought of myself as that successful guy who everyone loved. I was the life of the party, the guy who could do no wrong -- the guy who everyone else only wished they could be. At least that's what I thought.

Now I know better. People weren't looking at me with envy; they were looking at me with disgust as they watched me throw away everything I had worked so hard for.

I think America can relate.

Through hard work and unwavering principles, America took itself from a far-fetched idea to the greatest, most compassionate, most free country the world has ever known. But as our success has grown, so has our arrogance.

We've compromised our values, sold out our principles and used our freedoms to justify giving more power to the government. In the first century of America's life, its government was afraid of its citizens. Now, it's the other way around.

Maybe America should consider starting on the same kind of 12-step program that's helped millions of other addicts who couldn't see that they were slowly killing themselves. Here's my version of it, condensed to six steps since I know that Americans are way too lazy to stick around for all 12.

Step One: Admit we are not powerless.
Take a look at our Constitution. Not just a transcript; find an actual picture of it. The first three words, "We the People," are at least four times larger than the others. Do you think that was an accident? Of course not. Our framers chose those words, and made them that size, because they knew they were the answer to any problem we would ever face.

Step Two: Believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
I think this one pretty much speaks for itself.

Step Three: Decide to take our power back.
A recent polls says 81 percent of Americans now say that our country is on the wrong track. If you're one of those people, who do you blame? The Bush administration? Congress? The media?
Here's a crazy idea: How about blaming ourselves?

If you don't like the fact that your city has led the country in poverty and homelessness for the last 10 years, then ELECT SOMEONE NEW. Stop voting for the same people from the same party every year.

Our power hasn't gone away (see Step One), it's just been masked by politicians who are tearing us apart for their own gain. We need to reclaim that power, and then we need to use it.

Step Four: Make a complete and fearless moral inventory.
Alcoholics aren't exactly big fans of introspection and self-examination, but this is one of the most important steps to recovery.

What are America's faults? What are our assets? By taking stock of both, we can start to work on maximizing our strengths and eliminating our weaknesses. It sounds simple, but when's the last time you really thought about what America does right? That brings me to Step Five.

Step Five: Admit our wrongs, and our rights.
We're constantly reminded about America's faults and flaws, but what about our achievements?
If you want to teach our kids about Vietnam, that's fine, but you better also teach them about World War II. And if you want to talk about our wars, you better also talk about our welfare. America is one of the most charitable countries in the history of the world, yet our mistakes are always glorified far more than our generosity. That needs to be reversed.

Step Six: Be ready to remove our defects.
Just like an alcoholic, we simply cannot go from sleeping on the street to perfection overnight. This is a big ship, and it takes a long time to turn it around.

But we have to start somewhere, and the best place is with the defects that almost all of us agree on. For example, does anyone really believe that being addicted to Saudi Arabia's oil is a good idea? What about China owning billions of our debt? Speaking of debt, what about the fact that we've saddled our children with $53 trillion in future Social Security and Medicare obligations?

But before we can address any problems, we have to first admit we have them. Many of us are in denial about just how divided we've become. We think that it's just the election or the war that's tearing us apart, but the truth is, it's much larger than that. We're every bit as arrogant, greedy and self-destructive as I was when I hit bottom.

Fortunately, it's not hopeless. It never is. If a program can work on a rodeo clown like me, it can definitely work for a country as great as ours. But until we're able to stand up and say, "Hello, my name is America and I have a problem," we'll never even have a chance.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the writer.

PS: I apologize to those people who really thought this entry was about Amy Winehouse. =)

The Quest to Be Interesting

Song of the Moment: Sparkle Me by The Buffseeds

She's an introvert, perennial home buddy, nicey-nice, bring-home-to-your-mama girly girl. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Most days, she'd rather stay home, fix herself a gourmet sandwich and read a good book or watch DVDs. She does a lot of lurking around the Internet from the comfort of her room - drooling over her future Macbook, for instance, or browsing through people's photos on social networks. She is a lover of the peace and the quiet. So, if you'd make her choose, she'd immediately prefer coffee/wine conversations over a club crawl. She doesn't find those fitness dance classes as effective and rewarding as working out/running alone. She feels uncomfortable doing her shopping with another person because she doesn't want anyone slowing her down or hearing someone else's opinion on her fashion sense. However, she still believes she's living a good lie.. errr, life. She absolutely loves to travel, preferably on her own and with a sizeable pocket money. She truly enjoys long drives when she's on the wheel; it's absurdly therapeutic for her. She gets all giddy when she just discovered a new restaurant/movie/music artist or she's about to try out a new cultural/historical activity. And she makes time to hang out and go a bit crazy with the girlfriends, even though she's already in a really serious relationship. Bottomline, I'd like to think that, in spite of her being perceived by the public as a quiet good girl, she still comes out pretty interesting over all.

And then someone says, "The Good Girls don't make the headlines." I thought about that and I tried recalling if there are honest-to-goodness nice girls out there who really got everyone's attention. So it hit me, the good girls who reach the headlines are either dead or are suddenly not-so-nice-after-all (read: as in the selling genius of Girls Gone Wild). Not fair. Why can't good girls be interesting too?

Or perhaps, the nice girl just doesn't know how to sell herself, in fear of rudely stealing the spotlight from someone else. "What's up with you, nice girl? Who else can give you a spotlight except yourself?" I guess it really has something to do with how much she puts out there in order to be noticed... and eventually, remembered. (aside: This sounds like high school all over again. Oh well!)

She has this dilemma about group conversations; she's not a "butt in" person. If you see her with a group, she's probably the token quiet person in the whole table. She has all these ideas in her pretty 'lil head, what with the myriad of blogs and websites she visits. But she just cannot seem to find the rhythm in a group conversation --- that is, knowing when she can make the perfect punchline. I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that in the family dinner table, she was taught NOT to interrupt... so she'd wait.. and wait.. and wait... until the perfect timing has gone by. There's nothing really wrong with respecting someone else's speaking time, but I wish she knew how to speak more and to stop over-listening. Gasp! There's such a thing as excessive listening!
Ok, so I'm the nice girl who wants to be interesting, but still comes out pretty boring as I'm the quiet one in a group because I persistently respect other people's space. With that said, I'd like to officially embark on a Quest to Be Interesting here. So....

I resolve to say anything and everything I feel like saying, and catch that perfect timing.

I resolve to just jump, and let the net appear.

I resolve to read and read, and share and share.

I resolve to imagine things in my head and act them out like I'm in a play.

I resolve to be interesting.

Good girls can make the headlines too. Just you wait. But, someday I'm just going to look back at this post and say to myself, "Man, was that really necessary?"

When was the last time you cried?

Song of the Moment: Still by Ben Folds

This will be as candid and digressive as it can get. Be forewarned.

When the family trooped to Greenbelt this afternoon to hear mass, all that I had in my mind was this: I am not in the mood. I was feeling extra extra shitty, primarily because it was the first day of my week's delayed period --- that meant my hormones were shooting off the roof and the cramps were extra painful. My monthly bane is extra belligerent (yes, there's a little massacre going on inside me) every time I lose the regularity of its arrival. This happens every 3 months or so, depending on the amount of stress I experience --- and I don't enjoy it at all because it has reached points when I've become magnetized to the bed in one position and one position alone. You boys out there have it easy sometimes.

Anyway, that's not the story. Sitting down on the pew was more painful and energy-absorbing than standing by the aisles, so I chose the latter. It was still excruciating, while I held on to the ledge like I'm about fall to the floor. I must have taken this position during normal mass days in the past because no one seemed to have noticed my agony. It didn't help that the place I was standing in smelled like pond water. Argh. I felt the urge to leave and walk around or get something to drink just to distract me. I was doing mental plots, carefully selecting which part of the mass I should use as a cue to slip out. Something kept me glued to my place.

Fr. Jun Sescon, one of the family's favorite priests, took the microphone when it was time for the homily. Again, I wanted to leave, but I just stood there. It turns out, his homily was meant for me, no matter how painful it was to stand around there and take it in. Thank you, God, for pinning me down like that so I'd stay put like a behaved 'lil girl.

(This is where I start talking about what I was meant to talk about. See? Such a long introduction.)

Fr. Jun started by relating Lazarus' resurrection to talks about physical death vis-a-vis breathing people who are actually dead. That would have made an excellent focal point too, but instead he maneuvered his way cleverly towards zeroing in on one phrase from the Gospel (said to be the shortest sentence in the Bible): Jesus wept. Jesus wept for the death of his friend, Lazarus. Anyway, before I sound like I'm writing an exegesis, the gist of his homily was in fact this: You can tell a person's character by his tears (or by the lack of tears). These words are very very true.

I particularly took to heart his suggestion on paying attention to what makes one cry ---most especially, paying special attention to UNEXPECTED tears. Was it when you watched a movie and the character goes, "Follow your heart"? Was it when you were walking across a park and you bump into a 70-something couple, holding hands? Was it when you heard about another person's success? Or was it when that cheesy song started playing on the radio? He suggests that when we see something seemingly insignificant and suddenly breaks into tears by its sheer experience, then that moment will genuinely determine who we are at present, where we're coming from and where we are supposed to be headed. Your unexpected tears, a moment of unintentional weakness and awakening of your desires, will surface what truly matters to you, what will make you happy or sad, and what will propel your sensibilities towards fulfilling your purpose in this world. In the same way that the act of crying physically cleanses your eyes and helps you breathe better by allowing for a faster pumping of the blood in and out of your heart, the act of crying and mourning will cleanse your perspective and help you pump passion back into your life, before you lose life entirely and wake up a dead person every day.

His homily hit me so hard because the other night, I was, in fact, crying unexpectedly. And I was really crying at 2AM, letting everything out of my system --- stuff that I apparently had bottled up inside me for quite a while now, without my knowledge. And I actually felt revived the morning after. I felt a bit weak from the lack of sleep, but my focus and resolve was very sharp. I felt slightly rebellious but that was the point of the unexpected tears --- for one to manifest what is missing in his life, to unblock the day-to-day routine and to awaken from a slumber of commonstance.

In the other end of the spectrum, we have people who no longer know how to cry. They are the people who have become stoics and are indifferent to the human experience. I can cite one very popular person who doesn't know how to cry.. my friends and I were just talking about that person in a funny yet disturbing anecdote last night. Anyway, this kind of person is dangerous because he/she has lost the ability to be moved and that will allow him/her to go about life without regard for goodness and justice. They are like zombies who will walk the earth but not feel its pulse nor listen to its people's calls.

So, how about you? When was the last time you truly cried? When was the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and be reborn again? It is not a manifestation of weakness when someone cries; instead, it is a grand show of humanity and life.

Treason (by Ricky Carandang)

Song of the Moment: Megalomaniac by Incubus

My friends and I were talking about this article last night, and I was shocked as I haven't come across this (until I googled it this morning).

Apparently, this article has been circulating over email for a few days now (since posted by Ricky Carandang on his blog last 27-Feb) --- and I can completely understand why. It is disturbing. It is uncalled for. It is worth, not just a Manila power struggle, but a national outrage.

It is worth passing on, so that other people may know.

A lot of us have been fencesitters for quite a while now, insisting that all the "lawless gatherings" are merely detrimental to the great Philippine economic heyday. The peso is strong, investors are flooding in... and the youth and the religious on the streets are merely idealists who don't understand the immediate implications of another national uprising to a wounded country. But try reading what is written below and then look at me straight in the eye while saying, "She is the best person to be in power now, regardless of the circumstances."

Admit it. You can't just do that without looking away or looking down in shame.

Please pass this on. If you can't be part of the revolution on the streets then be more "one with the times" and use the Internet to express yourself. You've written about that party you went to, that concert you paid a premium price for, that family reunion you thought was boring, and your musings on how incredibly cumbersome or blissful your life is at the moment. There are clearly plenty of channels for people to express themselves with. Why don't you forward this over email? Write about it. Talk about it. Post photos, videos and what-not. Just do not be silent anymore.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Taken from Ricky Carandang Reporting (http://www.rickycarandang.com/?p=133)

TREASON

Allow me to expound a little on a story I did for The Correspondents on February 19th.

Seven countries claim ownership of the disputed Spratly Islands, just off of Palawan. China, Vietnam, Taiwan, Malsysia, Indonesia, Brunei, and the Philippines all claim to own part or all of the Spratlys. These overlapping claims have been a source of tension over the years since the Spratlys (we Filipinos call them the Kalayaan Islands) are believed to contain significant reserves of oil and natural gas. China was the most aggressive in pursuiung its claim. In 1999, the Philippines–under President Joseph Estrada– led an effort to prevent tensions by getting all the claimants to agree not to take actions to provoke other claimants.

But in 2003, the Philippines–now under Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo– rocked the boat that it previously steadied when it signed an agreement with China to jointly undertake seismic studies of the Spratlys and explore for oil and natural gas. Naturally, the other claimants were angry. After getting them to agree not to rock the boat, the Philippines sucker-punched them with the China deal. China’s traditional ally, Vietnam was so angry they it had to be let in to the deal to appease them.

Aside from angering our neighbors and potentially undermining regional stability, Arroyo’s action may also be illegal. Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez–who was then acting justice secretary–told former Senator Frank Drilon, who was then allied with the administration, that she believed that the deal violated the constitution, because while it was a deal between the state owned oil firms (PNOC of the Philippines and CNOOC of China) of the two countries, it implicitly gave China access to our oil reserves. Officers of the Foreign Affairs Department were also upset because the deal effectively strengthened China and Vietnam’s claim to the Spratlys.

What would compel Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to sign a deal that potentially undermines regional stability, possibly grants China parity rights to oil reserves in the Spratlys that we claim to be ours, and likely violates our constitution?

How about $2 billion a year? After the Spratly deal was signed, the Chinese government committed $2 billion in official development assistance a year to the Philippines until 2010, when Arroyo is supposed to step down from office. My sources tell me that the Spratly deal was an explicit precondition to the loans.

A sizable amount to be sure, but for the Arroyo administration the China loans are particularly appealing. Not so much because the interest rates are so low and the repayment terms so lenient, but because Chinese loans do not have the cumbersome requirements that loans from the US, Japan, the EU, and big multilateral lenders have. Requirements for documentation, bidding, transparency and other details that make it very difficult for corrupt public officials to commit graft. In fact, in November of last year, those cumbersome requirements made it impossible for some government officials and private individuals with sticky fingers to avail themselves of the World Bank’s generosity.

It had gotten to the point where a corrupt government could no longer make a dishonest buck. That is until China’s generous offer came along. Given China’s laxity with certain conditions, its no wonder why almost every big ticket government project funded by Chinese ODA has been the subject of allegations of graft and corruption. There’s Northrail, Cyber Education, the Fuhua agricultural projects, Southrail, and of course the ZTE National Broadband project.

Until the ZTE National Broadband scandal, the Chinese government has had little official reaction to any of these allegations. Why should they? The $8 billion is a loan, not a grant. It enhances their influence in the region, strengthens their claim to the Spratlys, and expands their influence in the Philippines. The best part is, regardless of what Philippine officials do with the money–whether they put it to good use or steal it–it still has to be paid back. Its no wonder that anytime some midlevel Chinese official comes to the country, congressmen and administration officials literally trip over themselves to roll out the red carpet.

For corrupt Administration officials and their cronies, $8 billion represents unprecedented opportunities for graft on a scale that would shock ordinary Filipinos.

And at the end of the day, that $8 billion is going to be paid back. Not by the grafters in and out of government; not by the Chinese citizens; but by the millions of ordinary middle class Filipinos who go to work every day, pay their taxes, struggle and to keep their small and medium businesses afloat. The price will also be paid indirectly by tens of millions of poor Filipinos who will not have access to health care, quality education, and a functioning court system because those resources are not going where they should be going.

There’s a word for that. It’s called Treason.

EDIT: If you find the article above a bit too "opinion-based", try this other article written by Manuel L. Quezon III on the same topic but with more sources and a better historical grounding. http://www.quezon.ph/?p=1701

Or if you're too jaded and you feel the two articles could be written by journalists who were paid by the opposition (geez, what are you protecting?), read this article taken from the Far Eastern Economic Review. http://www.viet-studies.info/kinhte/Manila_South_China_Sea.htm

Looking Out from My Fishbowl

Song of the Moment: Beautiful Mistake by Better than Ezra

I've been quiet the past weeks when discussions would veer towards the Jun Lozada expose. The expose shocked me as much as most, and the sincerity in his cracking voice moved me to the bone. But I felt that the issue is still in its early stages, and there are a lot of questions yet to be answered, a lot of voices and perspectives to be heard.

I didn't agree with the Valentine demonstration that was staged in Makati last Friday, because I felt that the rally --- clamoring for a PGMA ouster with merits debatable among different sectors in society --- is not strategically powerful enough and came in too early from a much talked about "tipping point" of democratic purging.

However, as I watch the mass at La Salle Greenhills from the comfort of my room, I am left in an emotional torment. I can't quite put my finger on the internal struggle, but I am almost driven to tears while I'm watching right now. Could it be fear of political instability in the coming weeks that grips me right now? Could it be guilt for being seated so comfortably in the safety of my home? Could it be a poignant recollection of a student leader's past I have almost forgotten now that I'm in the workforce?

It was quite timely that I was able to watch ENDO last night. ENDO stands for End of Contract, a term that refers to the end of a contractual worker's temporary employment given the common practice among Philippine businesses of keeping workers for only 5-6 months to evade mandated labor provisions on workers' benefits. ENDO is an indie film that is primarily a love story but indirectly identified the vicious cycle of contractual workers in the Philippines. They know nothing of permanence, and are trained not to expect career growth. They have no other recourse than to abandon dreams of being lifted from poverty.

I am now in the business sector, so close to being a business owner. I have the opportunity to inherit a prosperous company; thus, I may never have the opportunity to experience the suffering of the Filipino in the grassroots. I am blessed, and I thank God for this reality every day. But every now and then, I remember who I was in college, as if it were a distant past. I was a student leader who so passionately pushed for social consciousness and action. Now that the reality of money-making and my personal survival is holding me in ball and chain, I feel my life is not as fulfilling as I want it to be. I have become my worst nightmare, someone who chooses to be so conveniently enclosed in a forcefield that separates me from the scorching poverty of the country. Last night, I felt guilty that I couldn't relate with the characters in ENDO. This morning, I was contemplating on whether or not to go to a mass that celebrates apostles of truth and accountability. Obviously, I stayed home and blogged and reflected.

You see, I found it easier to respond to a call to arms when I was still a student leader. I held a critical position that was expected to deal with bringing in the external to the sheltered corridors of Ateneo (or vice versa). But now that my priorities point toward bringing in more sales for our company, such that I had to take a business trip to VISMIN at the height of the senate hearings, I write this blog entry with reluctance over proclaiming my nationalism. Am I being hypocritical? Am I at fault somewhere?

I wonder if acting on patriotism is even a function of environment and capacity. For example, young professionals can argue that they cannot drop their work functions in order to participate in mass actions. They would have lost their jobs the next day, and that is tantamount to stupidity in a dog-eat-dog world. On the other hand, I also wonder if mass action is the singular way to act on patriotism. Is it the only representation of unity among Filipino citizens that we can display? Is clamoring for our cause in the streets the only way to be heard and the only roadmap towards policy tightening and implementation reforms?

I love my Philippines. I don't think I can choose any other country to commit to with such conviction. I will pay my taxes and treat my employees fairly. I will stay abreast with the social developments in our country. I will continue to provide for the less fortunate children whose education I have started supporting. And I can blog, like this, in an effort to urge other people from my cozy circles to question their lifestyles in the same manner I did... to ask if nationalism is still being pumped into your bloodstream. Perhaps, I can find a way to join the mass for truth and accountability at 6pm in the Church of the Gesu in Ateneo tomorrow night. But for now, I hope I got your attention.

stay hungry. stay foolish.

Song of the Moment: New Soul by Yael Naim

People have put a lot of thought into the coming of the New Year. I am no exception.

Apart from the thick smoke from fireworks, different emotions enveloped the sky when the clock struck midnight. Reminiscing. Pain. Anticipation. Anxiety. Optimism. Promise. Empowerment. Fear. Sorrow. Joy. Nonchalance. Loneliness. Togetherness. Pretension. Sincerity. Vanity. Depression. Hope. Warmth. Chilll. Guilt. Forgiveness. Forget.

Fortunately, I don't have a lot of coherent words to say about the turning of the year. I just know that people need to believe on something in order to survive this year. Things don't have to make a lot of sense right now because there isn't anything you can predict in its totality at all. Things will only make sense when you look back at things and say, "This would not have happened if I didn't [blank]". So please don't be too hard on yourself. Enjoy the awakening of new things. Enjoy the new and the old. Resolutions exist to inspire and bring you a deeper sense of joy; they should not punish.

I wanted to borrow this citation from one of the few people I look up to: Steve Jobs. In his key note address to the Stanford 2006 Graduating Class, he clinched his speech with two simple phrases:

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish.

Indeed, I am the only link from who I am now to what I can become. Stay hungry, stay foolish.

A Philosophical Moment with Multiply

Song of the Moment: My Sundown by Jimmy Eat World

Click the photo to enlarge.

VERIFY YOU ARE HUMAN. There's been a lot of activity on your account, which appears to be automated. This sort of thing isn't allowed on Multiply, which is intended for humans to share lives with their human friends. Please enter the code below to verify your humanity.

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There. Am I human enough now?

Don't we all engage in a lot of activities that are short of "automated"? We wake up every morning with chronic fatigue, as we expect yet another routinary day. We look for patterns in our loved ones and "troubleshoot the relationship" when patterns are violated. We'd rather search for formats in our work rather than create a new way of doing things because we want our work done conveniently, without shattering the no-one-has-actually-established-as-infallible status quo. We gravitate towards the same people we've always been comfortable with even though we know they're sucking the life out of us, because a change of scenery translates to being uncomfortably spontaneous. We are scared of change; we abhor unpredictability. But I'd agree with Mr. Multiply when he says: "These [automated] activities are not allowed... [where it is] intended for humans to share their lives with human friends." You and I are human, and the truth is, no aspect of our life is and should ever be predictable or static. We will find the best version of ourselves when we face the strong winds of change, and be blown away in a graceful dance towards the heavens (as opposed to hanging on to dear life in fear). At the end of the day, there is no point in toiling and worrying about life. There are no trophies in heaven. There are no Forbes rankings in the afterlife. There are no Ms. Universe pageants at the end of our mortal lives. But rather, in heaven, I strongly believe that there are only memories of an old life to be relived and recalled again and again.

I don't agree with you, Mr. Multiply, when you asked us to plug in that code. I believe that there is no simplified code that can verify my humanity. In real life, we turn to picture perfect people in magazines and aspire to be like them. There's nothing remotely wrong with having role models; but to obsess over the aspiration of being "them" and losing one's self in the process is a different story. There is no how-to book in being a human. Being a human just entails being. And in the purest sense, being human is just all about letting the you come out without having to listen to what other people have to say.

So, thank you, Mr. Multiply, for that brief unintended philosophical encounter. Cheers.

Death by Brutal Suicide: August 13, 2007

Song of the Moment: Into Dust by Mazzy Star

The last 24 hours of my life did not turn out as how it has always been hyped up to be. I didn’t end up in the confessional, pouring out all my sins to a confused priest who would gladly call in psychiatric help. I didn’t end up panicking over where my money will go, or to whom the few assets that I have will be transferred to. I didn’t end up in some brothel, doing all sorts of provocative and immoral sexual acts with a group of willing strangers. I didn’t end up hastily marrying the man I love ala A Walk to Remember (although it was tempting). I didn’t end up gathering all my family and friends for one last cinematic meal of tears and unguarded words and wishful thinking out loud. I just died and lived to the last second of my life. And I was extremely happy dying so.

I needed to contemplate death to discover how it is to truly live. That’s the greatest irony of my week. When you have 24 hours left to live, you no longer recognize any structural societal norms in every decision you make. You just decide purely out of your own will and you let that moment be conquered with such an easy hole-in-one swing. I just took it one second at a time, enjoying my last embrace with life, not necessarily doing anything spectacularly different but I was genuinely happy the entire time. There was no room for morbidity or remorse. There was only freedom from pretension and guilt. Those skeletons broke loose from within my closet without fear of judgment or controversy. The *coughs* I’ve always wanted to say to people flowed out of my mouth without tension over an anticipated response. Beauty became introspective. Money became immaterial. Love became an all encompassing energy. And fear became obsolete.

Some people might look at this essay and say, “Bah! Humbug! That’s recklessness.” But if you have 24 hours left to live and you know deep within your heart that there are things that have to be done… then Bah Humbug! Frustrate all the critics! You’ll be dead by the time they say a single word of disapproval! (Besides, for all you know, you have just one strong critic: yourself.)

You know what to do already, so stop pretending that you’re confused and that you don’t know the next step. Listen to yourself because you have a better judgment than you’re giving yourself credit for. Do it as if you do not have the luxury of time, and delight on every second you have. Stop fixating on a yesterday that can no longer be changed, and stop anticipating a tomorrow that is nothing but speculation.

Now that’s how it is to truly live. As if Death is just a few hours away.

------------------------------
This is just one of the many results of attending "Tapping the Creative Universe," a workshop by Jim Paredes. I highly recommend it to anyone who finds herself in a state of inertia --- that is, as how Jim would put it, "stuck in between careers, dreams, loves, or can't even seem to identify the source of the gridlock in her life." The next workshop run in the Philippines hasn't been announced yet, but when you get the chance to sign up for this class, go go GO! The money you'll spend will amount to nothing, compared to the experience you will get in return.

Random. Very. Random.

Song of the Moment: Sick Sad Little World by Incubus

I'll be out of touch for a couple of days, as I go through a self-imposed media deprivation. (Long story. Or not. Hmm, just don't feel like sharing about it now) So, I decided to write this entry. Uhm, I can't vouch for the causality of the first sentence with the second (don't count the aside!). Geez. I can't quite place it, but I have a feeling those two have something to do with each other.

So here are my random thoughts. Again, very random stuff that popped out of my head, in a span of an hour during a typical day (TODAY, just in case you're curious). No, they don't point to any grand ideas or philosophical realizations. No, I'm not writing this in a pathetic attempt to "communicate" with someone I've been struggling with. (You're so vain. You think this entry's about you!) No, I am not high on anything right now. I just feel like it. Basta.

PS: I found out I think in English. Tsk tsk.

1. They actually prayed for the rain to come at the end of the mass today. In an organized manner. They made us kneel and all. This drought's really serious.

2. When foot soldiers are in the middle of battle and they're taking strict commands from their superiors, do they have free will?

3. Why don't they have fast food joints in Greenbelt? Some place where the service is fast enough that we can actually "enjoy" our food without have to be late for our movie?

4. I wish I could be more materialistic and stop depriving myself of gadgets or clothes I can ACTUALLY afford! (NO! FOOD does not count.)

5. I want to speak out all the time. But I clam up the last minute. Nakakainis. All those years of leadership (heck, even commanding an entire batch every freakin' morning of my senior year) meant nothing to me now. Damn you, corporate world. I lost my empowerment in a 6-month stint.

6. Why can't I just win the lottery? I've spent P20 already. Wait. That's not much.

7. Be assertive. Be a meanie. Be assertive. Be a meanie. Be assertive. Hoy. Kaya nga sabi Just Anger eh!

8. Over dinner. "Go to your room"' would be typical. Try, "Get me out of my room!"

9. I don't have a specific fashion sense. I can go from booted up with a micro mini at night, and a loose tshirt + jeans the next day. Whyy?

10. Someone push the red button to eject me from this rut! I want to live in the 15th century or something.

11. I'm scattered all over the place. I'm damn happy. But that's only because I don't give a damn. The minute I start thinking about it, all hell breaks loose. It's a daily cycle, I tell you.

12. Why can't I just get my act together and move my ass? Well, actually I am, but why are things taking soooo long!? Grrr.

13. Number 13. It's someone's favorite number. Someone who happens to be incredibly lucky. Things are not always what they seem.

14. Why do people have to work again? *Ditzy Moment* Oh yeah. I have to eat and stuff.

15. I'm so hard on myself. But I think it has something to do with the fact that I haven't heard a good criticism about my work in so long. I got spoiled all these years, sheesh. Come on, bosses, show a little love and encouragement.