boo-boo: two oh's more of the word....

When you've been working for a company for quite some time now but have not really reached the regularization threshold, you find yourself caught in a dilemma when you make a mistake.

You're the rope in a tug-of-war of realities. You're not sure if the mistake was due to sheer incompetence or just plain ignorance.

See, something wrong happened today. And it's a Sunday, so nothing much can be done. I sent an email from my personal account to a shipper today, secretly hoping they'll be able to read through the email tomorrow so I won't have to think about it until after the weekend ends. But alas, the message reached them within the day, and I actually get a response this evening. I was cringing when outlook was loading the email. And so it reads: "I'm confused, I thought it was YOUR JOB to..." I knew it had to be someone's fault, but I'm not sure who should take the blame.

I reread the email. There was a long pause in the outside world to accommodate the sudden influx of thoughts within me. "Was I really supposed to...? Was that really part of my job?" Again, the question echoes in my head --- is it an ignorance that can be forgiven or a negligence that had to be condemned? Several months into the industry and I am still ignorant. Or several months into the industry, and the training is still unfinished.

Yes, it is a self-inflicted burden to aim for perfection because no human is perfect after all. But in the real world, imperfection and mistakes actually cost money. So you'll just have to deal, stop pointing fingers, do a little emotional regrouping and find a way to minimize the negative impact.

We live and we learn. Sigh. Learning is never easy.