source: http://xkcd.com/c169.htmlSunday, October 29, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
the bad guy
I had a couple of drinks with my officemates a few hours back, but left the bar earlier than most. Don't get me wrong, I stopped before my limit and made it home in one piece (thank you, high alcohol tolerance). But I felt weird.
It's not so much that I couldn't handle the situation. I just felt like I've outgrown such nights already. Most of my officemates are actually a lot older than me, but the pensive drive home stirred me. No, being younger than them doesn't give me the license to drink. These nights are in fact reminiscent of night outs in the past that are fun at that moment, but probably something I can no longer be proud of. I used to brag about my Quezon-bred drinking skills, but it just doesn't feel right anymore.
The night brought back those memories of someone drunk and in denial driving me home, and that scared me. Other images rushed in my head... of scantily dressed women I personally know grinding in front of me, of empty bottles of beer on the table, of squinting at the sight of rising cigarette smoke. It reminded me of those nights I was actually a tad reckless, contrary to popular notion.
Yes, good girl Vanessa became a bad guy at some point also.
But there comes a point in your life when you just look at those memories, smile with wisdom, and walk away.
It's not so much that I couldn't handle the situation. I just felt like I've outgrown such nights already. Most of my officemates are actually a lot older than me, but the pensive drive home stirred me. No, being younger than them doesn't give me the license to drink. These nights are in fact reminiscent of night outs in the past that are fun at that moment, but probably something I can no longer be proud of. I used to brag about my Quezon-bred drinking skills, but it just doesn't feel right anymore.
The night brought back those memories of someone drunk and in denial driving me home, and that scared me. Other images rushed in my head... of scantily dressed women I personally know grinding in front of me, of empty bottles of beer on the table, of squinting at the sight of rising cigarette smoke. It reminded me of those nights I was actually a tad reckless, contrary to popular notion.
Yes, good girl Vanessa became a bad guy at some point also.
But there comes a point in your life when you just look at those memories, smile with wisdom, and walk away.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
TMX
Stands for Tickle Me Xtreme. The new Tickle Me Elmo toy from Fisher-Price celebrates its 10th year with a new Elmo who is, simply put, extreme. Too loud actually that he comes out incredibly annoying. [Let's see if you can stand the video.]
I meant to write so much more about the interesting conversations that resulted from this scandalous little toy --- that is, delve into the many ways adulthood distorts a child's eyes. But yes, judging from the many violent reactions against this toy, let me veer away from the Hydrocephalus Poo, Rabid Pluto, Obscene Donald Duck, etc etc. [Had fun, you two. And I love you, one of you.]
I meant to write so much more about the interesting conversations that resulted from this scandalous little toy --- that is, delve into the many ways adulthood distorts a child's eyes. But yes, judging from the many violent reactions against this toy, let me veer away from the Hydrocephalus Poo, Rabid Pluto, Obscene Donald Duck, etc etc. [Had fun, you two. And I love you, one of you.]
Sunday, October 08, 2006
a long list of everything...
It's October 08. The last entry I had was last July 16. So here's a long list of things I will ramble about:
A. THE SHIP HAS SAILED.
I've been working with Maersk Logistics Filipinas as an Import-Export Client Coordinator since August. It's a fancy name, yes, but basically, the work I do entails ensuring that sea mode exports from the Philippines are properly booked, shipped and documented to our nominated accounts in the US, Europe and everywhere else. I'm handling three accounts on my own (Marks and Spencer, Cost Plus and BCBG), while handling half of the work for Target Stores (which in fact eats up the bulk of my time), and soon Walmart and The Pier. [I am so excited for December! We'll get gifts from our shippers!]
Anyway, the first month was pretty slow because they couldn't give me anything to work on just yet. But ever since the turnover of accounts last month, it's been mayhem every week, every day, with only an hour's lunchbreak to keep me sane. Surprisingly, it's not about the difficulty of the work... it's about the amount of work that had to be juggled and done. The team's always working within a strict deadline, and even though I remember being asked sincerely during the job interview why I'm too serious and if I am capable of a little procrastination, turns out this kind of job cannot afford procrastination and mindlessness at all. Or so I think. Wait, maybe it's just me. I noticed that my teammates can detach better from work... well, most of them at least. Lately, I've been going to the office at 8am and closing down the department workstation at 8:30pm or 9pm. Fridays and Mondays are my heaviest days. So when you text me on either of the two days, don't expect an immediate reply.
So, the work started out pretty peachy. After all, I've always wanted this company, this job in particular. You can ask anyone, I'm so crazy (bordering horny) about my work and it shows every time I giggle at the sight of passing container trucks. (Can we say psycho?) But in the middle of the piles of papers I have to deal with everyday, there is a tired spirit, asking if this is the kind of job I can imagine for myself in the long term. As far as I'm concerned, this is merely a stepping stone for me. Hopefully in a year or two, I'll find myself in an Australian University, and shortly afterwards, I'll come home and pursue the business of my dreams. I think my plans are more clear cut than most (but not as spectacular as expected); they're just not expressed that's why I still come across as a lost girl to a lot of people (probably foremost to my family). But hey, the world's my Rockefeller oyster now. And this aphrodisiac's getting me all worked up.
B. OF OLD FRIENDS AND NEW ONES
Being exposed to the office culture affords one a new set of friends, and to people-loving persons such as myself, this is always a thrilling experience. But somehow, I found myself gravitating towards the old friends --- from my high school barkada to such wonderful college friends. The friendship is no longer about physical presence, but more importantly, care and support. Of course, it's always such a comfort to meet up with your old friends and to wind down after a long week of work, to engage in a smorgasbord of topics to talk about --- from college tsismis to finding one's True North in life. But there's an ethereal sense of warmth and "coming home" that you feel around the people you toiled through hell and heaven with during the Wonder Years. I suppose at some point, you settle for having mere acquaintances and not exerting a lot of effort to build profound, lasting relationships. At a certain phase in your life, you choose a few people you can call your bosom friends and nurture them more (quality over quantity). And then, in the process, you discover new things about your old friends --- and nothing's the same anymore.
C. MY IPOD's COMPLAINING. (AND I SHOULD READ MORE)
I haven't been updating the songs on my IPod, and it's been ages since I made a new playlist. Lately, I've been putting the songs on shuffle. I allow myself to a surprise in discovering fantastic songs I already have but never really took the time to listen to. And I deleted all those audiobooks by the way, because I really shouldn't be too lazy to pick up my favorite books and catch up on my reading. Sadly, after 22 years of existence, I'm only coming around to reading The Prince (Machiavelli) and 1984 (Orwell) now. It's a return to the classics to me, after loading up on contemporary fiction (latest one being Farewell Waltz by Kundera).
Back to the IPod, I realized I can only use it for at least five years because the battery has a certain usage limit. So I'll lose all my songs? Nooo! The agony! Such lamentation! Anyway, cut the drama, anyone out there who has more fantastic artists they can introduce to me? I'm up for anything. But these days I've been a Snow Patrol fanatic. Chasing Cars is one of the best underrated songs on airplay by the way, but dude, listen to their entire albums. Really worth your while.
Oh and I hate Paris Hilton. Because she ACTUALLY makes such catchy tunes. Dammit. In fact, if you plaster an unknown personality over the voice, change the video concepts and maintain the music, her songs will be such chart-topping hits. Nakakainis. I can't get "Nothing In This World" out of my head for days now. Kill me now!
And last but definitely not the least.....
D. A WORLD OF RECOGNITION
The world is filled with fear and treachery and apathy, but you can only live and love if you learn to trust (the world and yourself) again. But if you're lucky, you may encounter a person you can connect with in so many levels and save you from your self-inflicted rotting-dom. What do you do if you do find someone who can sum up your existence in a simple gaze, probe into your inner feelings to speak of it and promise, not a perfect life, but a life worth living for? The reality is, we're all tempted to consider time as the final judge of one's readiness to move on from a tainted path and cross over to the greener pastures and bluer skies. But since when have we succumbed to slavery and allow time to carve out our lives? No. We make our lives through our decisions, and not through time. Sure, there is value in patience --- but not if it's driven by fear. It doesn't have to be so melodramatic all the time. People can choose to transcend once more and settle for nothing less than true love. Marcel will bang your head to the wall if you don't understand the importance of hope in a wailing world... such a puzzling concept of holding on to nothing else but a belief that there will be better days, to hope.
I can say I grew more in a span of three months than I ever did in a length of three years. I just needed to be willing to be stripped naked and be clothed in wisdom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the wisest person in the world... But I know I learned so much the past few months.
And I give due credit to you. For releasing me from an unhealthy imprisonment and offering truth, acceptance, honesty and communication, without losing your uniqueness in the process. Thank you, my wonderful imperator. *cue Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch*
A. THE SHIP HAS SAILED.
I've been working with Maersk Logistics Filipinas as an Import-Export Client Coordinator since August. It's a fancy name, yes, but basically, the work I do entails ensuring that sea mode exports from the Philippines are properly booked, shipped and documented to our nominated accounts in the US, Europe and everywhere else. I'm handling three accounts on my own (Marks and Spencer, Cost Plus and BCBG), while handling half of the work for Target Stores (which in fact eats up the bulk of my time), and soon Walmart and The Pier. [I am so excited for December! We'll get gifts from our shippers!]
Anyway, the first month was pretty slow because they couldn't give me anything to work on just yet. But ever since the turnover of accounts last month, it's been mayhem every week, every day, with only an hour's lunchbreak to keep me sane. Surprisingly, it's not about the difficulty of the work... it's about the amount of work that had to be juggled and done. The team's always working within a strict deadline, and even though I remember being asked sincerely during the job interview why I'm too serious and if I am capable of a little procrastination, turns out this kind of job cannot afford procrastination and mindlessness at all. Or so I think. Wait, maybe it's just me. I noticed that my teammates can detach better from work... well, most of them at least. Lately, I've been going to the office at 8am and closing down the department workstation at 8:30pm or 9pm. Fridays and Mondays are my heaviest days. So when you text me on either of the two days, don't expect an immediate reply.
So, the work started out pretty peachy. After all, I've always wanted this company, this job in particular. You can ask anyone, I'm so crazy (bordering horny) about my work and it shows every time I giggle at the sight of passing container trucks. (Can we say psycho?) But in the middle of the piles of papers I have to deal with everyday, there is a tired spirit, asking if this is the kind of job I can imagine for myself in the long term. As far as I'm concerned, this is merely a stepping stone for me. Hopefully in a year or two, I'll find myself in an Australian University, and shortly afterwards, I'll come home and pursue the business of my dreams. I think my plans are more clear cut than most (but not as spectacular as expected); they're just not expressed that's why I still come across as a lost girl to a lot of people (probably foremost to my family). But hey, the world's my Rockefeller oyster now. And this aphrodisiac's getting me all worked up.
B. OF OLD FRIENDS AND NEW ONES
Being exposed to the office culture affords one a new set of friends, and to people-loving persons such as myself, this is always a thrilling experience. But somehow, I found myself gravitating towards the old friends --- from my high school barkada to such wonderful college friends. The friendship is no longer about physical presence, but more importantly, care and support. Of course, it's always such a comfort to meet up with your old friends and to wind down after a long week of work, to engage in a smorgasbord of topics to talk about --- from college tsismis to finding one's True North in life. But there's an ethereal sense of warmth and "coming home" that you feel around the people you toiled through hell and heaven with during the Wonder Years. I suppose at some point, you settle for having mere acquaintances and not exerting a lot of effort to build profound, lasting relationships. At a certain phase in your life, you choose a few people you can call your bosom friends and nurture them more (quality over quantity). And then, in the process, you discover new things about your old friends --- and nothing's the same anymore.
C. MY IPOD's COMPLAINING. (AND I SHOULD READ MORE)
I haven't been updating the songs on my IPod, and it's been ages since I made a new playlist. Lately, I've been putting the songs on shuffle. I allow myself to a surprise in discovering fantastic songs I already have but never really took the time to listen to. And I deleted all those audiobooks by the way, because I really shouldn't be too lazy to pick up my favorite books and catch up on my reading. Sadly, after 22 years of existence, I'm only coming around to reading The Prince (Machiavelli) and 1984 (Orwell) now. It's a return to the classics to me, after loading up on contemporary fiction (latest one being Farewell Waltz by Kundera).
Back to the IPod, I realized I can only use it for at least five years because the battery has a certain usage limit. So I'll lose all my songs? Nooo! The agony! Such lamentation! Anyway, cut the drama, anyone out there who has more fantastic artists they can introduce to me? I'm up for anything. But these days I've been a Snow Patrol fanatic. Chasing Cars is one of the best underrated songs on airplay by the way, but dude, listen to their entire albums. Really worth your while.
Oh and I hate Paris Hilton. Because she ACTUALLY makes such catchy tunes. Dammit. In fact, if you plaster an unknown personality over the voice, change the video concepts and maintain the music, her songs will be such chart-topping hits. Nakakainis. I can't get "Nothing In This World" out of my head for days now. Kill me now!
And last but definitely not the least.....
D. A WORLD OF RECOGNITION
The world is filled with fear and treachery and apathy, but you can only live and love if you learn to trust (the world and yourself) again. But if you're lucky, you may encounter a person you can connect with in so many levels and save you from your self-inflicted rotting-dom. What do you do if you do find someone who can sum up your existence in a simple gaze, probe into your inner feelings to speak of it and promise, not a perfect life, but a life worth living for? The reality is, we're all tempted to consider time as the final judge of one's readiness to move on from a tainted path and cross over to the greener pastures and bluer skies. But since when have we succumbed to slavery and allow time to carve out our lives? No. We make our lives through our decisions, and not through time. Sure, there is value in patience --- but not if it's driven by fear. It doesn't have to be so melodramatic all the time. People can choose to transcend once more and settle for nothing less than true love. Marcel will bang your head to the wall if you don't understand the importance of hope in a wailing world... such a puzzling concept of holding on to nothing else but a belief that there will be better days, to hope.
I can say I grew more in a span of three months than I ever did in a length of three years. I just needed to be willing to be stripped naked and be clothed in wisdom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the wisest person in the world... But I know I learned so much the past few months.
And I give due credit to you. For releasing me from an unhealthy imprisonment and offering truth, acceptance, honesty and communication, without losing your uniqueness in the process. Thank you, my wonderful imperator. *cue Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch*
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