Song of the Moment: Definitely Unexpected (Instrumental)
by Hans Zimmer, The Holiday OST
I was physically exhausted beyond words today. It was one of those action-packed days that would render you lifeless at 8PM. But that does not go without saying that it was mentally and emotionally satisfying. It was worth it.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but these days of fatigue make me happy in a weird way. It's the good kind of stress that not a lot of people in the global work force have. While a lot of people out there toil through hours and hours of work doing something that make them question whether or not they have a fully-utilized brain, I am glad to be in a position of vast opportunities for inner growth. Other people may be satisfied with working 8-5 jobs and then going home not knowing exactly why they just spent 9 hours doing what they did (or perhaps, choosing not to think about why they spent those 9 hours because there aren't a lot of options anyway). But I know I'm not like that. I am a restless spirit in need of a grand purpose to live by. That is why, right now, I am actually enjoying my work because there is a powerful vision that moves me. And I get so giddy to know that it's just a couple of work hours away from reality.
Tonight, I recall those Philo classes I took a long time ago, where I was taught that to be is to have purpose, that can be made tangible through the work that we do. And I believe that to have it the other way around would be a loss in humanity; that is, we shouldn't work now just to have a purpose and to be somebody someday. We have to be convinced that we are human first, and that this is our purpose (what we are born to do), and we will choose to do the work that will bring that to life. Makes sense?
And you know what else fascinates me? Just like how I found E after a tedious case of groping for a hand to hold in the dark, it seems that, after a seemingly long adjustment period, I've finally found something I want to do for the rest of my life. We'll be sharing wedding rings someday too.
